Getting Over my Ex

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I broke up with my boyfriend a month ago.I'm only 14 and me and him went out for 4 months.I dunno if that would be considered long or what.But those for months of my life were the best.I had my first kiss with him and first guy I actually got close to.I fell in love with him.I loved him so much.

But within those four months me and him broke up twice..but went back out within a week.So..when we broke up this time I was hoping we'd go back out soon.But its been a month now and we haven't yet.And I still like him SO much..and I might even still love him.

He's already went out with 2 others girls.So..I believe he's moved on and doesn't like me anymore.But now were still talk like 3 hours on the phone every night,and were good friends.But then at school he can sometimes act like a real jerk..But everytime I'll see him with his girlfriend at the time( he's single right now) or flirting with another girl it just kills me.It seems like all I ever do is think about him.I feel as if I'm obssessed.Which I don't like.

I want to move on,forget about him.But everytime I try or I think I am.Then all of a sudden I start thinking about all the great memories of being with him.And I start to like him more and more.Then even at times I almost cry.

Why does it still hurt so much?I still hope we'll go back out.But me and him has talked about it,we decided that it probably wouldn't work out and didn't want to go through all the pain we felt when we broke up.But I'm still feeling it.Should I tell him how I feel?What should I do?Or should I just keep trying to get over him?If so how? Advice
Breaking up is painful. Think of all the movies and songs and books made about breaking up. It's something we all go through, many times in life. It's never easy, but you should know this is normal. It hurts, you take time, you get over it and you move on. It can take weeks to months, but it will get better.

A good relationship is not one where you keep breaking up and getting back together again. A good relationship is one where you work through problems together as a team. If your solution is to just ditch the other person, then there's no stability. And, as you found, there's never any guarantee that the other person won't just hook up elsewhere if he is so likely to abandon you. As much as you love him and the relationship, something was really pretty wrong there if you guys broke up so frequently.

There are some people who are great friends - but who are not meant to date. You can easily love someone and not date them. You probably have female friends you love dearly - but you don't date them. The same is true for guys. So treasure your friendship with him. Definitely talk to him about his abusing you at school, though. If he really is a friend of yours, he should NEVER be rude to you in public. Maybe this is a sign of what went wrong in the relationship.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

Visitor Submitted Responses
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Move on
Find another
Distract yourself
User Submitted Response from a 13-15 year old Male
Same Situation
Spend Time with Others
User Submitted Response from a 13-15 year old Female
User Submitted Response from a 16-20 year old Female
User Submitted Response from a 16-20 year old Female
User Submitted Response from a 13-15 year old Female
User Submitted Response from a 13-15 year old Female

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