College and the Military Broke Us Up

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
me and my exgirlfriend were talking for about 3 and a half months and everything was going fine until we would just stay on the phone and there was no conversation at all. we didnt spend much time together because she plays sports year around and shes always out of town. we are both in the 12th grade shes going off to college and im going to the navy.

she broke up with me for no reason basically and i want her back. the reason is i belive she scared of a long distance relationship i have made all type of preparations for us to see each other while shes at college. i even offered to leave the military and come to birmingham with her because before we met i was already thinking about attending a school in the same city.

so what should i do to get her back. because i really love her to death. Advice
People don't break up for no reason. They always change state for a reason. It would have been easy - inertia - for her to stay with you. It took a conscious action on her part to break up. A lot of couples - probably the vast majority of couples - break up for college because there are so many new opportunities and changes and emotions going on during that period. People change very much during that time.

The most important thing here is communication. If things are really going to work between you two, you have to be able to talk about issues. You can't just change your entire life direction for a girl you can't talk to. Sit down with her. Talk about the problem, talk about her concerns. Tell her you want the truth even if it's painful. It would be really bad for her to lie to you or deceive you and for you to make your decisions based on that false information.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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