Should I Tell or Lie?

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I'm a college freshman, I have a boyfriend, and we've been together a little over a month. It's a long-distance relationship (we got together over the net, but we knew each other before that as friends.)

I have a very good male friend here, who I also know from home, and late last night, we made out. My mother had insulted me, and he was comforting me - my boyfriend has been in the middle of finals and I haven't been able to talk to him for a week.

What do I do? I really enjoyed kissing my friend, and he's a very nice guy. If I weren't involved already, I'd definitely go after him. However, my boyfriend is also very sweet, if a little immature, and he's playing strip poker and stuff like that a lot, and it kinda hurts.

Should I fess up, or keep silent? I'm going home in a week, so should I wait and talk to him face-to-face or get it over with? Advice
You may justify your making out because you were "upset" - but when you are in a relationship that is a commitment to each other. It means you stay true to each other even when there are lures. If you break that commitment the moment you get upset, what happens when something even more serious happens?

Your boyfriend tells you what he is doing. If you don't approve of strip poker, then ask him to stop and explain why. He has as much responsibility to you as you have to him. But cheating around behind each other's back isn't right.

I would definitely tell him face to face, and resolve it in person. If you are unhappy with the relationship, then handle it so you ARE happy, or call it quits as a relationship.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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