I'm Pregnant, He Deserted Me for a 14 Year Old

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
Me and my boyfriend had been together for a year and a half and last week he told me that he didn't wanna be with me anymore. The problem is that I am a couple of weeks away from delivering our first child. We are both 18 and still have alot of growing up to do but I feel like I've matured alot in the past months and realized that I can spend the rest of my life with him and that I truly do love him and want to be with him.

The same day he broke up with me, he started dating a 14 year old girl! He hasn't called to check on me or to see how everything is going but he tells his mother to tell me that he loves me and that he does want to work on our relationship when the time is right and right now isn't the right time.

I'm so confused! if he truly loved me then he wouldn't of left me at the time that I needed him the most. I cry everynight and pray to god to make him realize what he's letting go of. I just feel so alone and scared, I really need him to be here for me, I don't want anyone else but him.

How do I get him back or is it even worth trying to get him back? Everyone says he's just scared and once the baby comes he'll change but I'm so scared he won't. What do you think?

RomanceClass.com Advice
Wow, he REALLY sounds like he is running away from responsibility. On one hand he has a woman he loves, has been with for a long time and who is carrying his child. On the other hand he has a girl who is barely in high school! If he wanted to run away from taking on responsibility, he has run just about as far as he could without getting a child rape charge laid on him. And in fact, with him being a legal adult, and the 14 year old being a minor, he COULD be charged with rape if he does anything with that 14 year old.

I would focus on you and the baby and get your friends and family to support you. I know it seems right now like you need Him and Only Him. But really what you need is a Father for your baby. It might be him. But it could also be someone else FAR more responsible and reliable than he is. Sure you can hope he grows up. But he might, and he might not. If he does NOT grow up, you don't want an unreliable, running-around-with-14-year-old guy around your child as your child is growing up! You want a guy who will be with you, who will love you and the child, who will be a stable, mature part of your life.

I'm sure that you and the baby will be fine, and that into your life will come a man who is worthy of being part of your family. Don't force your ex into that role if he's not capable of carrying the load. If you do, you will grow to hate him for disappointing you so much. Instead, wait to see if the man will be him, or if it will be someone else far better.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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