Getting Over an Ex

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
i broke up with my ex about a year ago, but i still miss him and want him. see he was my first and my first real love. Well this new guy comes in, and i like him aloy, we even had sex, but i can't be with him because i don't wanna cheat him emotionally.

What can i do to get over my long gone ex and be with the new guy or any guy? Advice
It can easily take a long, long time to get over an ex. But you also have to take steps, yourself, to get over him. You can't just sit around dreaming about him and pining after him and hope that someday you'll "heal". You have to actively want to heal.

I have a bunch of tips on healing after a breakup here -

the most important is to learn to be HAPPY with what you are in life. If you're always seeking someone else to "make you happy" you never will BE happy. You have to learn to be happy on your own, with what you are in life. Once you are, then you can join with someone else and share that happiness. But if all you do is dream of someone else who can "make you happy", it's not going to work.

If you really and truly try for another few months to be happy on your own, and can't, I would talk with a minister or therapist or someone else in your life. This is incredibly important for you to learn about yourself, and you need to do it now so you can enjoy your world!

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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