My Girlfriend Deserted Me

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I was going out with my ex-girlfriend for just over a year, we had little arguments like all couples do over silly things. We had a talk and she wanted to "call it a day" and she broke up with me. During that talk she said that her mum sed it was too early for her to be in a serious relationship at that time in her life. Also her friends had told her that i had her under my thumb...

3 weeks after our break-up she started dating a friend who works beside her. I hadn't seen her in 2 months till i invited her 2 my party and we had a talk. I put my side across that i still wanted to be with her and i love her, she says that she wants both of us but she sed that she knows she can't have best of both worlds.

I have seriously tried to move on, but i am still certain in my heart that she is the person that i am meant to be with. I do not know what to do. Please help me! Advice
I know it's really hard to get over an ex, but remember, you live your life for 80 years or more nowadays. So a year is a REALLY short period of time in the grand scale of things. This girl that you dated called it quits on you without any real reasons - in essence lying and blaming her parents and her friends. She wasn't mature enough to take the responsibility on HERSELF. And then, to top it off, despite claiming that she was "too young to date" she didn't even bother getting through rebound and jumped right into another guy's arms. This is NOT the kind of woman you want to get involved with.

Yes, you miss her. We all do after a breakup. But obviously things were NOT right between you two. If they'd been right, you wouldn't have broken up. She had some good points, yes. But she was NOT meant for you. You were meant for someone far better than her. You need to give yourself time to heal and get over her and get some distance before you will find someone new, someone who is wonderful for you and show you just what a great relationship is really like. Which by the way does NOT involve lots of fighting or nit-picking. A real relationship involves two good friends who support and care for each other.

I have lots of advice on breaking up here -

give yourself time. Do NOT date her again. I am really sure that you will find another girl who is much better for you ... and that when you look back on this ex you will think of her as an "OK girl" who was a good learning experience but that your new girlfriend is SO much better.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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