Dating at 14
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
Hi, I am 14 years old and I have a boyfriend who is 16. Is this a normal age for dating? Or is he a little too old for me? I think he is has a little more sexual activity than me. He constantly wants to kiss, and he wants to give me a hickey... and I am shy around him... is this normal too?? Well, should I let him give me one? Does it hurt?? And how do I give him one? Oh, and he wants to "make out" How do you make out??? please help me on these things a/s/a/p THANK YOU! ! !
Yikes it definitely sounds like he is pushing you far too quickly. It is common for people of a year or two difference to date in high school but this only works when the OLDER PERSON TAKES IT SLOWLY. The moment an older person starts "rushing for sex" it is a BAD BAD situation. The fact that you are feeling this pressure and coming to ask for advice on how to do sexual acts is a huge warning signal.
I would make it clear to him that either he start pacing himself for YOUR age or he isn't going to have a happy girlfriend. I know you like him! I know you want to have a boyfriend. But believe me, how you let him push you around is going to have a HUGE effect on how you feel about yourself long term. It may seem the "right thing" for a week or two. But then you can easily feel VERY badly about yourself and it can really damage your self esteem for years and years. I know older women who STILL regret letting themselves be man-handled when they were a teenager.
Your body is YOURS. It is the ONLY thing you really "own" about you. And if you let some guy go grabbing at you because HIS hormones are out of control, you will regret it. Because the most important thing you can possibly learn about life is that you have to do things because YOU want to - and NEVER because someone else is pushing you to for his own selfish reasons.
Please, tell him to take a step back.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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