I Tempted Him into Cheating - Will He Cheat Again?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I'm a girl, and I like this guy, but he has a girlfriend already. me and him have been friends for about 4 months...and during that four months we've known each other its been so hard for us to resist each other and well we didnt do anything.
except for this weekend i couldnt take it anymore, i wanted him...and well he stared deep into my eyes and damn we kissed.
will it work out if he breaks up with his girl or if they break up? or will our relationship not last at all? im just worried that if we go out that he might cheat on me now. im the first girl hes ever cheated with.
Cheating is definitely a slippery slope. There is ALWAYS temptation all around us. Every one of us has flirtatious girls and guys around us that we could hang out with and spend time with if we chose to. But instead we choose to stay with our loved partners and give them our time, love, energy and money. That is one of the decisions you make when you date someone and make a commitment to them. You make an agreement to honor, respect and be TRUE to them.
Now this guy you're interested in has proven that actually, he'll just do whatever brings him pleasure at the moment. It doesn't matter if he told his girlfriend that she was his one and only. You were there and you had pretty eyes, so it was OK to cheat. If you believe you're the ONLY girl with pretty eyes, you haven't been looking around you lately. There are MILLIONS of girls with pretty eyes. And if his new criteria is "I'll cheat if a pretty girl is sitting near me and we seem to connect", you're in for a world of hurt. As is his girlfriend of course.
Especially because you are now marked as "the one who got me to cheat", how is he going to trust YOU? You of course have already proven that you have little respect for a relationship and are quite happy to seduce a guy that is obviously taken. Sure, it's because you cared about him. But let's say you really do start dating this guy. And then say and even MORE handsome guy comes along and starts hitting on you, flirting with you, and being sweet to you. Will you resist him just because you have this guy you thought was cute? If the MORE handsome guy says "Just one little kiss, to show me you care," are you really going to say no?
Honor and honesty is about standing by the person you are with. Period. If you start a relationship on lies and betrayal, it puts a HUGE dent into the foundation of the relationship. Yes, the relationship might have a chance if you both sit down, discuss why it was so wrong to do what you did and work on things in a more honest manner. He has to be honest with his girlfriend, tell her what happened and break up with her. Yes it'll hurt her but if he DID it he should have the maturity and honesty to ADMIT to it. She deserves that, and she deserves to have a guy by her side that will respect her. Her current boyfriend is obviously not that guy.
And then when (if) you and this guy start dating you should renew how incredibly important honesty is, how what you did before was a mistake you will never repeat. And then back that up with constant communication and talking. Otherwise one of you will distrust the other, assume that they are cheating and it will cause the relationship to self destruct.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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