Not sure what to do

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female

I met this guy about a year ago and we instantly clicked despite the fact that we have an age gap of 16 years. He actually proposed to me soon after we met and we decided to tie the knot soon. i really do believe it was true love because genrally i'm very selfish in relationships and i was selfless with this man. then about 5 months ago he started pulling back from me little by little. This was actually after i started working. we had some problems on and off because the distance was killing me. finally it all boiled over a month ago and he said that he needs to figure out what he wants in life because he has spent the last 10 years married to his job and its hard for him to be there for me.

He was under a lotta stress from work, his private business, his mom and even me. so i'm not sure exactly what kind of a break he's expecting. i actually told him that if he wants to leave to make a clean break and say that its over so that we can both move on. but he refused to do that and that was the last we talked about the relationship. after that on and off we've had conversations about things that are related to work. i have always kept the conversations very short.
i have actually come very close on several occasions to completely breaking things off. but i always want to give him the benefit doubt because i knew what it was like for him and i was giving him a hard time too. i'm not sure if its worth waiting another 2 months in limbo or if i should just make up my mind and move on. i know for a fact that this could also be a cowardly way of breaking things off. but want to give him some space as well. very confuesd.. what should my next move be?

sorry this is long. i'm a total mess right now ans need an answer. thank u for taking the time.

m. Advice
You should definitely NOT tie the knot under the present circumstances. He is unsure of what to do and you are too. He is unlikely to change as regards to his job, so you will be second in his life.

You are barely talking with him now. My advice is to go out to dinner with him and break up with him as gently as possible.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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