How Do I Get Her Back?

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male

I've known this girl for six years, we met at college but back then she had a boyfriend.

Anyway, after education I lost contact with her and one night when I was out in a local pub with my friends I bumped into her, I was shocked and so got her number.

I text her just to say "It was nice to see you again" For months I never heard from her and in this time I met someone else. After a year or so she contacted me, luckily for me I was single.

We made a date to meet at the college because I was working there for a little while. Unfortunately my ex-girlfriend just happened to be there, which ruined the whole thing and we never spoke for months on end.

About three months ago I text her to say hi, and she replied like a week later. We arranged a date to go out. She picked me up at my house one Sunday and we went to the beach. Everything went smooth and we kissed. After that she got cold feet and she said she needed space to get her university exams over with. So..... I gave her nine weeks.

I text her saying hi, how are you? She replied and we went to the cinema two weeks ago. Once again, everything was perfect. We talked about want we want from each other and we agreed to take it slow.

Anyway, her mother and her boyfriend went away on holiday for a week and during that time she invited me over. I went over on a Sunday afternoon and she seemed happy to see me but I could tell she was frightened of getting involved with me! I don't know why? May be she had bad experiences.

She had just finished work and she wanted to have a shower, so I let her be. I watch television. When she was done in the bathroom, I went to the toilet and when I came back I gave her a kiss but this led to further seduction.

This was the first time we were about to have sexual intercourse. We took all the necessary precautions but unfortunately they miserably failed. She went to the doctor the next day to get the morning after pill, which she wasn't to happy about because this has never happened to her before and I think she felt disgusted with herself, I don't know but she got cold feet again.

I was suppose to sleep over at hers on the Wednesday the following week but when I text her on the Tuesday she said

"I'm sorry but I am just not ready for a relationship. Its not you, it's me. You are the perfect partner."

So me being stupid went to her house the following day after she had text me saying

"I've got a busy day today and won't be in till late."

I waited for her for hours at her house and it wasn't until six o'clock that she come home. She didn't look to happy that I was there and she wanted to know why. We spoke and I tried to win her back. She invited me in and we talked for hours. We eventually said we will give it a go and the next two days we spent making love.

On Friday the 18/7/2008 she text me saying that she is showing signs of pregnancy. I contacted the hospital and asked for advice. They told me she has got nothing to worry about because she took the morning after pill and these are common signs that the pill is working.

So I gave her support and comfort but on Saturday she text me again saying she feels worse and that she is very worried because she is not ready to have a baby.

Anyway, on Sunday the 20/7/2008 she dumped me and this is what the message said

"Hey, I'm still experiencing these side affects. This has really upset me. I really don't want to see you again and you really need to take NO for an answer this time. I am not interested in a relationship so don't push me into having one with you. I REGRET everything. Can't believe you actually came to my house when I text you saying I didn't want to take things further. Just leave me alone."

So, What do I do? Advice
The answer is short and not too sweet: contact her and say that you will leave her alone but that you want her to know that you are there to help her if she needs it. Also say you would like to know how things turn out.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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