In love with married woman.What to do?

Visitor's Question from a 41-50 year old Male
I recently split with wife of 20 yrs.Have fallen head over heels with work colleague(4.5 yrs) who is married with 2 late teenagers,she has serious marriage issues also but is still with him.She feels trapped.Her husband doesnt want to let go.We both have the same strong feelings 4 each other,think about each other every moment of the day,immensely enjoy each others company,but we have not slept together although this has taken considerable self control from both of us.We have flirted for yrs but our real feelings have only come out in the last 10 weeks.I have assured her I will wait for her as it is a difficult time for her and "rome wasnt built in a day."
My question is.What do you do with the pining feelings,the anxiety,the heartache,the weekends when I cant see her,That totally overwhelming feeling of missing each other so bad that you cant function properly.We are very deeply in love and believe we have never been in love before this.They say absence makes the heart grow fonder but it is driving me a bit crazy.
Signed. Totally in love. Advice
You need a plan for dealing with this situation. Having a plan will make you feel better.

My advice is for her to tell her husband that she is involved with a man at work and has fallen in love with him. The husband may want a divorce; he may want professional counseling; or he may decide to live with it.

Once this situation is out in the open, you will have plenty to do thinking and planning about it. Your pining, etc. will take a hind seat. Naturally, this will not be calming but at least you will have something happening.

Worst case, for you, is if she is requested to give you up and she accedes. But if that is the case then your love was not mutually strong.

Good luck in this! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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