married and in love with someone else

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Person
i have been married for almost 7 yrs and have two children. we got married at a young age, him 19 and i was 20 (while pregnant with our first). it was not a shot gun at all. but at the same time over the past 7 years i have still been in love with my previous boyfriend, who i still keep in contact with. although we live in seperate states miles apart, we still tell eachother we miss one another and what not. i think about having a affair with my ex very often, and when i do have any sexual affection with my husband, i think about my ex. i love my husband, but lately it has been a roommate type relationship, and i find it hard to be sexually attracked to him with out thinking of my ex first to get me in the little mood i can get in. i need help to figure out if its time to step back from the marriage, and seperate to see what happens or what. the ex was my first true love which makes it even more so harder to get over and there is more to my ex and my story. lots of history of bad timing then suddenly it was good timing, the all of a sudden he was leaving abroad, so bad timing again. its like the stars couldnt line right for us ever. any advice would be wonderful. thanks. Advice
It is not time to step back from the marriage quite yet.

Before doing that, you and your husband should get some professtional counseling to see what can be done to save your marriage.

As you probably know from friend's experiences breaking up a family is a very traumatic event. Finances become tight, the hurt for the children is real, friends and family are divided, and a dream has come to an end.

It is far better to try to save the marriage rather than make a chance and then discover that it doesn't work out for some reason. If you are going to keep the kids, your ex will have to move back to your state. You should also consult a lawyer (many give first consultation free) and find out about your rights and responsibilities in this situation.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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