I lied and cheated, now what?

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
My girlfriend found out i cheated on her in about the 4th month of our relationship. I cheated on her early on. I realize how much she means to me and i dont want to cheat anymore. However, she is giving me a second chance, but her mom insists on running her life, and when she was upset when she found out i cheated, her mom and older brother picked out a guy and he was the shoulder to cry on. since then he has been trying to get with her all though she is still with me.

I tried talking it over with him, but he didnt get the idea, so we fought. after this there was more problems. a year ago i was dating this girl and i claimed to have intercourse with her when this was a lie. This caught up to me and i told my girlfriend truthfully that i never did this girl before. Many people were telling her otherwise and her mom insisted we break up. She told me that we are still together but to everyone else we are broken up. Her mom wants her to date other guys to see if im the guy she really wants to be with.

So then comes back the guy i fought. hes a smooth talker, coming in, caring when shes sad, showers her with compliments, he even snuck a kiss on her and afterward she said "i dont like you" which i told her to say. couple days later she tells me that she does have feelings for him and she likes him because hes caring and sweet, and i know all he wants to do is get in her pants, hes playing it cool. She told me she likes him, but not as much as she likes me,and while she is out seeing other people, i am home, doing nothing.

I am trying whatever i can to make things better, but everything i tell her to be sweet, it seems he has already said it.

RomanceClass.com Advice
So far it seems that you have lied, cheated and bullied to get this relationship to work. Those are all things that cause relationships to be destroyed! If you are known as a liar, she can't trust you. If you're known as a cheater she can't respect you. And if you beat up other guys because you think that's the only way to keep her true to you, that is showing that you don't respect her.

You really need to do a very good cleanup of your image here, both to her and to her family. You need to admit to them all that what you did before on all those counts was wrong and that you're sorry about it and want another chance. It will be really hard to convince them. But either you convince the family that you are very serious, or they will believe that you are NOT serious and that they should actively keep you away from their child.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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