How do i get my ex back in a long distance relationship?

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Hi there,

I have been with a girl that i have met about 1,5 year ago in Italy on an exchangement... After a while we started falling for each other, although i was already back to my own country and she was going back to Mexico. Till a few month ago everything was going great and i even visited her in Mexico and everything was just great during this holiday!

However, she got very busy studying, as well as i do, and she started to feel growing apart from me... We tried to move on, but since now we decided to just break up and move on... She said she was going to date someone else she started to like and i said that really made me miserable. After a week of flooding her with emotions, which i actually really regret because i know it only makes it worse i decided to take some space for myself as well and just simply go back to my happy old life! i told her that i canceled my trip to mexico because i think this is only making everything worse...

However, i know she is a great girl and i hope she realizes that, but although i want to have my own space right now, i still want her back some day! I want her to do whatever it takes to find it out herself that i am the one that wants to be with her and i hope she wants the same as well in the end... I guess i have to let her go for a while so she can decide what to do...

I am wondering though if there is anything i can do to show that i still care about her, while she is having a good time with whoever she is dating! Should i send her a card or some flowers for valentine? Should i give her a present for her birthday which is pretty soon as well? I would love to ask her best girlfriend to visit her, because she hasnt seen her in months and i know they miss each other and that girlfriend even got married a few months ago while she wasnt there! I would actually pay her to go visit my ex-girlfriend so they can have some time together and i hope that she can see this as a sign that i still care about her without giving her the feeling that i am 'buying' her love... Now is this a good thing to do or what else should i do? ...or is it just better to do nothing and just see what happens? ...i just want some piece in my life and have a good time from now on without her, but on the other hand i still would do anything to get her back, without scaring or forcing her... Advice
Let her know that you are taking space yourself but that you are not forgetting her.

Sending a card and flowers is a good idea. Send some dark chocolates too.

Then send a birthday present.

Tell her of the good times you are having but that you still miss her. Be sure to have some good times!

Good luck! George
p.s. regarding paying for the friend to visit--wait and see how she responds to the Valentine's Day and birthday presents.

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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