Am i doing the right thing???

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
Me and my girlfriend broke up in early november because her life is to busy for a relationship. She said she wanted to just date eachother casually until things get better and can work out. But i think the problem was that she didnt have enough time to contact me and i had to much time to contact her, because at one time she wanted to make it work and i think i was somewhat smothering her. But she still does have feelings for me, there jsut not as strong as they were before so i thought i would try to somewhat change the way she sees me. I havnt been initiating contact with her, but when she contacts me i respond how i would normally but i wait a little while before i do. I am still hanging out with her on the weekends when i can. And here is a more specific instance. This weekend is her birthday, and last weekend i offered to take her out to do somthing nice for her on her birthday. She turned me down because her parents were taking her out for dinner that night, which i was ok with. But come to find out she was at a party with her friends. She called me at about 10 saying her parents canceled last minute so she went to the party, which i dont really buy. So she is having this thing for a few friends this weekend for her bday. I told her i would go but i am thinking about canceling it, just to kinda show her my time is just as valuable as hers is.

So do you think i am doing the right thing to get her back? I figure i have to get her to miss me in order to do so, and the only way i can think if is to slow down on the contact and disappoint her a little bit, but not to much. I hate playing games but i think if i really want her back for the long run i have to :(

So yeah is what im doing right? And what else could i do to inprove the situation.

Thanks! Advice
You were on the right path when you were giving her space.

Every year about this time I hear from people having the same trouble as you. Their partner is too busy for them. The reason is the holidays and the short, cold days (depending on where you are.) Also, she had a bday too. Then there is working to earn money for the holidays and also school exams.

You did all the right things concerning her bday, and you got disappointed. Well that happens sometimes and you have to roll with the punches. What you definitely don't want to do is to start trying to get her back. She will immediately know what you are up to and won't think very much of you.

Go to her party and have a great time. Don't expect perfection, because that's not the way life is. Don't give her pressure, but also don't ignore her because that could ruin the party for both of you.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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