She is the one and lost her

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I met my ex girlfriend Sophomore year of college and a city college and we began dating and things were always great. I had a year off inbetween tranfer, then I ended up going to a school out of state, but we would fly back and forht multiple times a semester to be together. I garduated last May and returned home and excited that we no longer had a long distance relationship. I will say the long distance did take a small toll, plus with my working and going to school i was pretty busy and I didn't do the little things to show I cared hardly as often, and i wrote it off as her just being needy, not to mention the stress contibuted to a bad attitude.

Well a month after i returned home my 18 year old little brother was hit by a car and passed 7 days later. It was my first big loss and I took it extremely hard. She was there for me and the only one I opened up to about the whole thing. She has said I had been very mean on multiple occasions with her and I tried to apologize, but it seems she still holds some of that with her. for the past year I was not able to rebound from that loss, and I let my life dig me into a hole, I postponed taking hte LSAT to go to law school like 3 times and her and I drifted apart.

3 months ago she broke it off, but during that conversation said she wants to marry me and said she wants to work things out in a later time. For the following month and a half she kept telling me that she thinks doesn't know if she made the right decision and still has hope for us. At that time I was hurting from this, plus I knew I wasn't ready to make up for me not showing her how much I love her, basically correcting what i had done wrong. She had come over to drop her friends computer off for me to look at and that night said she wishes I would have kissed her, that she wanted me too.

I should have noted that starting a month before the breakup i started to get my life back and wanted to be a happy person again and continued to work on that. A week and a half after the wanted kiss incident I showed up at to her house with roses and told her I am ready to do anything I can to right my wrongs and show her she is the most important person in my world. She said she wasn't willing to work things out and feels she wants to date other people. i kept at her the next week, sending sweet emails, sending her favorite flowers to he work and most importantly kept telling her I want to be with her for the rest of my life. This has been going on for the last month and she had told me I wasn't giving her space and she needs her space. so I started to respect that recently, but we haven't talked in over a week. I am so scared of losing her and I know she is the one. She has been pretty mean to me since I started fighting for her, but I have kept taking it and continued to pursue. She won't give me any explanations why she changed her tone in a week and a half, I am nearly positive she isn't dating anyone else, but of course I don't know for sure. So I am left with not knowing anything and I can't take knowing that I am losing the one thing in life hat means verything to me. I have told her everything I can tell her about how much she means to me, but I don't know the next step. I am just trying to give her space, but it is so hard to not be able to talk to her and I am afraid by leaving her be she will slip away. Any advice? Advice
Sorry you are in this situation.

She seems slightly mixed up in her signals. Maybe you should try this: ask her if it is ok for you to call her once a week just to make sure you are both ok. Talk for 15 minutes and don't beg. Be pleasant and unaggressive.

She may start feeling things for you again. After all, she has shown that she can be changeable.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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she'll come around
Good luck

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