taking action

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
hi George,

i've written before about what to do with my ex since she is pregnant, and even though she says is her bf's baby, im pretty sure she knows of the situation, and here it is:
on feb. 19,(she was cheating on her bf, it wasnt the first time) she and i had unprotected sex, three weeks later after that i called her and found out she was pregnant. at first she said it was her bf, but then that it could also be mine......time passed and she went to the doctor, and he told her that she was 8 weeks pregnant, and she and i had sex 6 weeks before that, so at first i was like "well im not the father", but what i didnt know is that doctors usually add 2 weeks to your pregnancy. Right now she is 14 pregnant, and in reality the fetus is 12 weeks, which is the same amount of weeks(12) ago when we had sex. i talked to her last night and she says she doesnt want to talk to me and to leave her alone, but im concerned about the paternity issues, and when i told her that i will do a DNA test when the baby is born, she hunged up on me! that gives me evidence that she's not sure, i know that for a fact because her brother told me that she confessed to him that she's not really sure who the father is.....what im planning to do is leave her alone all this time till the baby arrives and do the DNA test, 1 reason is because if it aint mine, i dont wanna ruin her rlntsp with her bf(which by the way doesnt know anything) by letting him know that it could be mine, so what would advice would you give me? need help please......thanks...i would like to be responsible if it's mine, im not like most guys that would leave things like that just because she wants her bf to be the father, i have a responsibility to pay for my mistake for having sex with my ex, event though we had comprimises with different people.....(and no this is not a strategy for getting her back, dont feel anything for her nomore)

RomanceClass.com Advice
Consider carefully what you are doing.

If you are the father then you will be liable for child support until the childd is at least 18 years old. You will also be permitted to see the child at regular intervals for the next 18 years.

While it is very good of you to want to do this, consider that these commitments may interfer with your marriage choices and your ability to buy a home (you might not have enough money.)

But, if you are determined to find out who the father is, you will have to wait until the child is born and then find a lawyer (more $$) to force her to have the child's DNA tested so you can compare the DNA with your own. This testing will also cost you money.

If she were in agreement about what you want to do I would probably encourage you to go ahead with the testing. But since she is opposed, I suggest you think about letting sleeping dogs lie.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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