Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
Okay, my ex and I have gone out 3 times. We were deeply in love for kids our age and we just couldn't seem to make it work out. We went out for 3 1/2 mos. the 1st time, broke up for about 3 mos., went out for 4 1/2 mos. the 2nd time, broke up for about 4 mos. and only went out for 5 wks. the last time. That was 6 mos. ago. He broke up w/ me the last time, saying that he just couldn't handle a relationship at that time, he was having some problems w/ his family, his job & school. I was very hurt but I moved on. I have been dating another guy for 5 mos. A couple of mos. ago a girl at school told me that my ex liked me again but I didn't do anything about it because the guy I am dating now is great and I really care about him alot. Any way, all of a sudden my ex started showing up outside one of my classrooms almost every day, etc., but we never talked. We really haven't talked since we broke up. A few weeks ago, though, he was standing right by me and my boy friend and we were kissing and after that, he stopped showing up around my class rooms, etc. Last Friday, my best friend said that she saw him keep looking at me and my boy friend, though, with a kind of sad look on his face. Then on Sunday he sent me a message through Facebook. He said that he knew that he messed up last Oct. when we broke up and every other time we were together and that he said things to me that he shouldn't. He said that he knew that he had hurt me more than one time and that he was the "king of butt heads, but that he hoped that I could forgive him any way. He said that he hoped it wasn't too late for an apology and that I would forgive him. I wrote back saying that yes, I forgave him and he wrote back again saying that it meant more than I could know and that he admitted that he was a crappy boy friend and that he was again sorry that it took so long for him to realize it.

I have never completely gotten over this guy. A huge piece of my heart still belongs to him. I do love my boy friend and he is totally in love with me (or so he says) but I will never love him the way I loved my ex. I don't know what to do. I know that my ex will not approach me, even if he does still have feelings for me, because I have a boy friend. I don't want to hurt my boy friend, but I can't deny the feelings I have for my ex. I just don't know if my ex has the same feelings for me.

Do you think that it sounds like he still likes me? My mom definitely thinks so. She said he would of never asked for my forgiveness if he didn't.

It sounds like he is changing and that is all that needed to be done for our relationship to be perfect. I want him back but only if he can be a decent boy friend (he was always great when we were together, just was about calling, etc.)

What should I do?

RomanceClass.com Advice
First decide whether you trust that your ex is changing.

A leopard doesn't change its spots overnight and neither do ex's. Are you sure he knows all his bad behavior? If he is incapable of really changing then you don't want him back.

Also decide whether you are willing to hurt your current BF just because your ex claims he is changing (and that means he hasn't actually changed, but that he is in the process of changing, he says).

There is no doubt your ex likes you and you have feelings for him, but are you sure you want to throw away a sure thing for a maybe? Think about it.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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