I love my best friend, he's dating someone else
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I dated my boyfriend and best friend for over two years. We broke up about seven months ago, yet we are still best friends and hang out a lot together. When we hang out, there is still so much there, still this huge chemistry. We are so incredibly close. It almost feels like we're holding back.
However, he has been seeing somebody for a few months. He got together with her when he found out that i hooked up with one of his friends after we broke up. We had been broken up then for about four months. When he found out that i had a thing with his friend, he was really upset and immediately started a relationship this other girl.
I've tried getting over him, and it doesn't work. He was my first love. I'm so curious as if we should be together right now because it seems like so much is still left there and i am still completely in love with him and he is my best friend. It seems like he still has feelings for me too. What should I do?
As hard as it might seem now, if you guys were dating for 2 years and things were just not right - bad enough that you broke up - then it seems like you are one of those couples that is simply perfect as friends but not great as boyfriend-girlfriend. This is pretty common. It's very, very easy to look back on a relationship and think "Oh the bad parts weren't that bad! And look at all the good parts!" But it is normal human nature to minimize the bad and maximise the good. But again, people who are happy together don't break up. People have to have a serious issue that bugs them constantly in order to break up. And those issues don't just go away. If anything, they are far worse the second time around, because they are now "old wounds" that have been reopened.
You can still love him! He is your best friend and you care for him. You hopefully always will. But he's moved on to another girl. You should open up your mind and see if there is another guy that can be in your life. Not to "take his place" but to "be your partner" - and to fit as your BOYFRIEND far better than your best friend did.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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