she told me she loved and wanted my kids

Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
We hit it off quick. Within a month she told me I was the 1 she d wanted to marry and have her kids. At first I thought it was crazy it went on like that 6 months. Shes 24 and im 34. She told me she never had a guy treat her the way I do. We spent almost every night together for 10 months she moved in at 6 months. She kept talkin about kids and marriage even told all my friends and hers. then she started having money problems and freaking out about her life and about her career and stuff. She got really depressed and started to anxiety attacks. So she got on meds to help her when this happened. But she was comftable around me. We started fighting alot about stupid things. I couldnt handle it anymore and asked if we should breakup and she said no are you crazy. Then 2 days later she came home crying and said she was moving out and were done. She told me she got to depended on me and she needed her own life and didnt want to be with me anymore and shes moving out of this town and going back to school. But instead she moved back to her friends house and shes hitting the bar everynite like she said she wasnt going to do. I ve talked to her a couple fo times and told her that I love her. She sounds so depressed and my friends say she looks like shes about to cry. She told me we cant even be friends and doesnt want me in her life but she owes me a lot of money. What can about this? Did she fall out of love as fast as she fell in? Is there somone else which says no and doesnt want to be anybody for along time. She does tell me she needs space and time to think. But this not a break its over. I know we were only together for 10 months but I love her and worry about her anxiety problems.

Everything was ok until she started having money problems.

She ended up owing you a lot of money. This probably made her very uncomfortable and eventually caused the breakup.

Perhaps if you forgave the debt she would be less anxious and see you in a better light. The downside is that she might think you are trying to buy her and you might expect her behavior to change. You need to think about that and reassure her.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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