He's Nasty and Unreliable

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Okay, we've been on and off for about three years now. He broke up with me because one of my old guy friends keeps calling me even though I've told him that he shouldn't and that my boyfriend doesn't like it.

My guy friend didn't stop calling, he just says that I'm stupid for letting him control me like that. I kind of agree with him but I don't want to lose him. My boyfriend broke up with me and he said the most hurtful things that I can't get it out of my head. He said that I can't be trusted, I act like a whore, and he even said that I was lucky that he didn't cheat on me and that he should've ended our relationship years ago. He also said that he's tired of sticking around to catch me in the act and he doesn't want me to ever call him again. Well I know none of that stuff is true but I just really hurts.
Did he really mean those things? It just makes me think of the cruel things he's said to me in the past and the mean things he did. Is it really over? Should it be over?

I still constantly think of him everyday and want to call him so bad but I keep thinking of what he said. Should I finally, hopefully really let him go? We've gone through this so many times but it still hurts everytime. Please help me.

RomanceClass.com Advice
I really think you should give this breakup a lot of time and give yourself rebound time. It sounds like this guy is easy to go back to - but that he is insecure, jealous and controlling when he is with you. You MUST have guy friends!! It is really, really important for every girl to have guy friends to talk to. For your boyfriend to try to forbid you to talk to a guy - and for him to call you a whore for having a guy friend - is incredibly immature!! For him to say you're "lucky" he didn't cheat on you is even worse. No, you would have a NORMAL, DECENT BOYFRIEND if he didn't cheat on you! Does he think this is a "strain" on him, to be that for you?

It really sounds like this guy is just not emotionally mature enough to handle a real relationship. The fact that he could treat you like this and talk to you like this is making it pretty clear. You deserve far better. I know it's hard to stay away from someone you've been with, and it's easy to think it'll somehow fix itself or that he'll be "better". But believe me, guys who feel this way don't just "fix". And as much as us girls like to try to "mother" the world and be understanding, you deserve to have a REAL BOYFRIEND who is worthy of your thoughts and feelings and emotions. This guy is NOT IT.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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