Heartache, guilt, and confusion
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
A little over a year ago, I developed a crush on a girl at school and began sneaking looks at her in class. She must have noticed, because she started flirting and smiling at me, and made attempts to talk to me and give me compliments. It was my first ever crush and her response caused it to grow greater and greater, but I am very shy around girls and had trouble talking to her. I would say hi and smile, but I was never brave enough to really open up, and even though I planned to tell her how I felt, I was terrified of how a relationship would change my life – I had not expected her to notice me in the first place. I began to get overwhelmed with a mix of depression, stress, and confusion, and midway through the year I decided that I would never be courageous enough to ask her out and started ignoring her. A part of me hoped that if she saw she was losing me, I could force her hand and cause her to ask me out, but for some reason she never did. It has been many months since we last talked and a new school year has since begun. I think I probably hurt her and feel really guilty, but I also know that it is too late and I missed my chance with her. I still see her in some classes and sometimes I think I see her looking at me, but I it is probably just wishful thinking. I can’t ask her out now because it has been so long, and I am embarrassed that I chickened out and ran away from a girl who was obviously interested in me. I wish I could move on with my life, but I haven’t been able to get her out of my heart, guilt plagues me, and I am tormented by the fact that everyday I have to see her, even if we no longer acknowledge each other. I just want this pain to end. The other thing that bothers me is why she didn’t ask me out, even before I started ignoring her. It’s not like she’s really shy – she’s class president and initiated most of our “conversations”, and I think I made it fairly obvious that I liked her.
Do the same thing you did last year, but don't chicken out.
Guess what, she probably has a boyfriend... after all she is the class president. So when you tell her that you care for you, you should expect her to say that she has a boyfriend.
That also would explain her behavior last year. As class president, she is naturally friendly and flirtaceous. She probably had no special interest in you.
But don't go on that assumption. Assume that she really liked you and you just need to take a stronger approach this year. She is friendly so always say Hi plus her name and give her a big smile when you see her.
Find some way to let her know you care about her but don't be surprised if she says she already has a boyfriend.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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