still living together

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Me and my ex have a very wierd situation. we had been together for about 6 months and we were living together, we have a nice apartment and a dog, we shar finances, we're pretty much living like we're married. he's in the military so he went home on leave to see his daughter and went to a party at an old friends house and met some girl. he called me two days later and told me that because he had just gotten out of his divorce, which had just been finalized, and then jumped into a relationship with me that was very quickly headed in a marriage direction he thought it would be best if we dated around a bit to make sure this is what we really wanted. i relluctantly agreed because i knew how hard his divorce was for him. well then he comes home and i found out that he had slept with this girl and was talking to her on a regular basis. yes she is 4 hours away, but then he went to "visit his brother" and she just so happened to be in the same city at the same time. so he comes home to me from "visiting his brother" this weekend and tells me that he still loves me, but that he dosn't think we're going to be together. he still wants to live here with me and i guess pretend like everything is okay. he sleeps on the sofa every once in a while but there are times when he'll sleep in the bed with me and he wants to have sex like nothing is wrong. i love him so much this hurts me so bad but i'm just not strong enough to ask him to leave. i've tried to explain this to him and all he can say is i just need to move on and find someone else as well. but every time i do, he get's wierd. he acts like he's mad but swears he isn't. i want to work things out, but it seems like every time we take a step in the right direction he pulls away. i tried to tell him that i'm not going to walk out on him like his ex-wife did, but whenever i do, he just says he dosn't want to talk about it. i'm scared. and i'm in so much pain. i love him with all my heart and he's the only person i can see myself with. please help me!! Advice
You told him you won't walk out on him.

So then you have no choice but to stay with him and hope for the best.

Things could turn around for you and you would be happy again. Keep following his advice and look for other men. But suppose you find one? Then what?

You've put yourself between a rock and a hard place by promising not to leave him... my advice is to undo that promise as best you can. He is taking advantage of you.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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