Is he running scared?

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My boyfriend (26yrs old) and I (22yrsold) just broke up after a year relationship. I felt that it was what he needed and or wanted. so I did it. He moved out a couple days later. I was crying and he was crying. Later in the week I told him I wanted to work on it. He told me that he didnít want to say we would work it out and it not work, and have me go through this again. He said that he hated seeing me cry and he was sorry(we were both crying). We spent some of following two weeks together (sometimes acting like a couple and sometimes acting like friends). One of his co-workers told me he was already seeing someone. I asked him about it and he got very defensive. He said he went on a couple of dates with some girl but wasnt"seeing anyone". I was shocked and really upset. I felt my heart shattering. I asked him about their dates and then said some things I shouldnt have and hung up. My emotions were going crazy. I called him back and he told me to delete his number and then hung up. I called back and I asked him if that was really what he wanted. He said no. He said he just wanted me to let him be single. We talked a little while, more calmly.I ended the conversation with "Iím sorry. I must have been naive because I thought we had something that was forever." I was crying. I told him I had to get off the phone. I could tell he felt terrible. This was two weeks ago and I havenít heard from him. My questions are these. If he hasnít called for two weeks does that mean he is over me? About how long do I wait to hear from him before I call? I am trying to give him space to realize Im the one, when should I just realize he truly doesnít want me anymore? A month? 6months? Do men naturally want to see other women right after a break-up?I just graduated college and he is done next semester. We lived together and he was going to have to make some major decisions about us. Is he running scared? Advice
Sorry you are in this situation.

Unfortunately, your questions are very difficult to answer. You can't tell after two weeks whether someone is over you. And how long you wait before you call is up to you. Call right away or never call... there is no rule.

Since you want him back, it is up to you to call him and you set the pace. Take the initiative on this. Men and women both may hit a rebound after a relationship slips. This sounds like what has happened to him. You are going to have to step in and call him on it.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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