How do I stop him from marrying someone else?

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I broke up with my ex nine months ago after being together for about a year and a half. It was kind of mutual. He left because he was mad about a fight we had and I was mad at him too so I let him go. He and his two small kids had been livng with me. After a couple weeks, I realized how much I missed him and called him. For the next two months, we hung out a few times at his new apartment and it was wonderful. I was trying to be strong, so when another man asked me out I said yes and went out with him about three or four times. I told my ex probably to make me jealous. When I was on a date with this man, my ex text messaged me to say he loved me and missed me but I didn't answer him. I called him the following weekend to see if he wanted to hang out and he said no. I tried to get him to hang out on a different night and he said no again. He finally admitted to me that he had a new girlfriend and then told me a few days later how wonderful and perfect she was. I flipped out on him and we didn't talk again for about three months. I missed him occassionally but I was trying to stay busy with other things, although I didn't date again. I knew he really loved me, because when we were together he told me all the time and acted like it. I figured eventually he would break up with her and want me back. I saw him about three months after the last time I talked to him to get some of my stuff back from his apartment. We were both nice to each other but I didn't stay long. A month later, but my father died and my ex said he felt bad and wanted to see me. We had such a good time together and I could tell by the way he looked at me that he still had feelings. He also told me that his new girlfriend was very nice, liked to cook and clean, was very "Martha Stewartish" and helped a lot with the kids. Then he told me that there was no pasion in their relationship and he never wanted to have sex with her. He looked at me and said "I am still crazy about you." Two weeks later I called him and asked him to work things out. He said no because he was afraid we would just break up again and he would be hurt again. A month later, he told me he had proposed to her. They had been dating for less than six months and I don't think he is even in love with her. I know he was not over me when he met her and I know he was not over me when I saw him three months ago after my father died. Since then I have been so hurt and confused. I have tried desperately to get him back and I know I have just been pushing him away. He said I am not acting like myself and he thinks I have gone crazy. I have been calling him and text messaging him and sending him emails telling him I am sorry for the mistakes I made and things will be different this time. I feel like I kind of took him for granted before because I felt he would always love me. I have tried to explain that to him but he doesn't understand. I think he is just scared and she seems like a safer option to him right now. I am so afraid they will get married and we will never get back together. I love him so much. I really want him back and I am so depressed. My life seems hopeless. I know if he would come back to me, he would love me like he used to and we could be happy. I know I need to stop pestering him because it is making him hate me more, but I don't know what else to do. Nine months ago this man loved me and wanted to marry me. We even looked at rings last summer. There has got to be something I can do to reunite with him. I can't bare to see him get married and have a family with someone else. Please help. Advice
You need to see a counselor and fast.

There may be little time for you to get him back, so why not do it right and ask for professional advice. You owe it to your future well being.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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