Lying and Cheating

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and 7 months. At one point we had argued about something that happened in the beginning of our relationship and it made me doubt what we had and made me think twice about everything. I was with a guy friend of mine and I told him I had feeling for him, But I really didnt. I then let my friend kiss me but it was just a peck and I pulled away. I lied to my boyfriend about it a few times before I told him the truth.

About 5 months later he broke up with me and told me he didnt trust me and couldnt be with someone he cant trust. When that other guy kissed me I realized how much I love my boyfriend and how much I wanted to be with him. It opened my eyes but my boyfriend was so hurt by it that he cant see it.

How Can i get my boyfriend to see where Im coming from and how can I regain his trust? Advice
Well to be honest, you DID cheat on your boyfriend and then lie to him numerous times about it. Yes, you pulled away. But why were you kissing someone else in the first place? And why did you lie about it? You should NEVER be lying to a partner about ANYTHING. Trust is THE foundation of any relationship and when you destroy it, how can anything you say after that be believed in?

I have suggestions on rebuilding trust -

but you really have to put a lot of effort into this - both realizing how seriously damaging what you did was, and in truly convincing your boyfriend to see that you HAVE realized these things.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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