Betraying my Friend

Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
I am in business with my best friend. Recently, I had an encounter with his ex-girlfriend. I was interested in pursuing a relationship, so I asked my biz partner and best friend if it would be alright with him. He has not seen her in over a year. I told him that our working relationship as well as our friendship was important to me. My biz partner and friend told me that he did not wish for me to continue seeing his ex. I told him that I wouldn't.

It has been a month now, and I have been seeing my partners ex behind his back. I have informed him that his ex and I have been dating. What can I expect on a personal level and should I expect an adverse reaction at work as well? Advice
Yikes, you actively lied to and betrayed not only your best friend but your business partner? Of course he is going to react to that! Trust and honesty are THE most important things you can possibly have in a friendship AND in a business relationship. You lied to him deliberately for your own selfish reasons. If you had no intention to listen to what he told you, then you shouldn't have asked him. Once you asked him, you had an obligation to do what he asked, or TELL HIM up front if you were not going to. Instead you quite happily lied to him to cover yourself.

So now how is he going to believe you any other time - that you aren't simply lying when it suits you? If you can claim that lying is OK if you have a good enough reason, it now only depends on you and your current reasons for you lying or not.

I would make some serious efforts to apologize, and to prove this will never happen again. And I would do some serious soul searching into why you did what you did. Interest in a girl is never an excuse. There are millions of temptations in the world, and lying is not a reasonable option.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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