My Girlfriend of 2 years left me...

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Hi, I'm going to try and make this as short as possible. My girlfriend and i have been together for almost two years now. We had been having some bad times recently, fighting over things like her not cleaning up after herself, her not taking care of her dog. It had gotten to the point where our apartment was a wreck because of her, her dog was urinating and deficating on the carpet inside the apartment. It got to the point where we were fighting about it almost everyday, and it had started to become physical fights. Then about 3 weeks ago she left, she came in and got all of her stuff and left. She left me with all the bills all of her mess to clean up. I am currently in school i almost had to drop out because of this. She said the reason she didnt want to do anytthing anymore is because I made her feel bad all the time like depressed because of the arguing. Before we got in this last fight she was telling me she loved me and wanted to marry me if we could only work things out. Ive tried to contact her for the past few weeks. She hadnt responded to any of my attempts to contact her until yesterday when i sent her a message and told her i couldnt keep chasing her anymore, she responded by saying she wishes me luck and that " i hope you dont hate me, i dont hate you, far from that" said shes not looking for a relationship because she is too messed up to. I really love her, I want to try and get her to meet me somewhere where we can talk. I want to ask her to marry me but i dont know what i can do to make things better between us. We both were crazy about eachother. She was intimidated by me she thought i was too good for her and things like that. But I always told her i love her and i wanted to marry her. I have ran out of ideas to get her to want to work things out. Thanks foryour time. Advice
You shouldn't be thinking of marriage at this point.

You two have too many problems to work out first. Her dog has to go. She isn't mature enough to keep one. She needs to learn to clean up after herself.

She won't want to hear about this, but if you are going to make progress as a couple you need to take appropriate steps to do so. Tell her these things gently because you are asking her to change.

Tell her you want to marry her but you can't do it with these impediments.

Good luck! George

-- from George
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