Guys wanting girls to be bitches

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I was with this fellow (we're both in our 20's) for 4 months, and everything was great. The relationship did progress very fast, but we both seemed comfortable with it. About a month a a half into the relationship he broke up with me, saying he didn't feel as strongly for me, and that I was trying to push him into a more serious commitment. A few days later he wanted me back, saying he loved me and that he was afraid. Two months later he breaks up again, basically giving the same reasons. During both break-ups he acted the same, did it in the same way, and gave the same reasons. He has also contradicted everything he has said to me. Examples: "Best relationship in a long time" to "it's not working out," and "you know me better than anyone else" to "I never felt that I was your friend before your boyfriend." He has played with my emotions, my head, and my girlfriends tell me to go read books about guys wanting girls to be bitches, and "He's Just Not That Into You," while all the guys tell me that he's going to try to do this again and to give him the finger. I just want to know if he even loves or misses me, as he has acted so distant, never calling, barely acknolwedging me, and it has been over three weeks. I have a letter to give him, and I don't know if I should give it to him, as my friends all say not to, as it will just annoy him or feed his ego, since I have always been there for him to run to when it's convenient. It's a letter telling him how I really feel, regardless of if he loves me or not. It's not a pleading, begging letter either. Does he need more space and time? He still has some of my belongings as well (although I told him he could keep them in a happy drunken call). Advice
I see no reason for keeping the letter you wrote.

Since it is not a begging letter, it might make things clearer in his mind.

He does not sound like a person that you should be pursuing, however. He seems self-centered and inconsiderate. Are you sure you want to be with him?

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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