What is Virginity?
The obsession over female virginity traces its way back to the days where women were considered the property of men - and the heirs produced by a woman were the key reason of having her around. It was of critical importance that a man could guarantee that any child that came from the woman was "his" so that his land and wealth only went to his own offspring. This is why the woman had to be a virgin - so there was NO chance of her already having another child inside her when she married the man.
Luckily for men (I say this tongue in cheek), there was sort of a way to "prove" that a girl was a virgin. The way a man impregnates a woman is for him to put his male sex organ into her. The opening into which he puts his sex organ is protected from dust and dirt and such during her younger years by a thin membrane - a "hymen". This is sort of like your eyelid, it's a thin layer of skin that mostly closes off her opening to keep it clean. The very first time the man enters her, he breaks away this layer of skin. When it rips, it often hurts, and it also bleeds. So that blood from the ripped hymen is what a man would look for as "proof" that nobody else had entered her before he had.
Unfortunately for possessive guys, this is not a foolproof method. A hymen is just a piece of skin. It can easily break at other times too! Hymen are known to break from heavy exercise, from horseback riding, from bike riding, from many other activities. Tampons can rip them. A hymen is not a magical substance. It's just a piece of skin, and it can tear and rip. In some girls, the hymen is so thin that it wouldn't even bleed enough to be shown, even if it was there during the "first time".
There's no "proof" of virginity with a guy. Their organ is just the way it is. It can go in and out of a woman without any difference being shown.
In modern day society, virginity does not matter as a physical act. With birth control, it is very easy to have intercourse without worrying about having "heirs". And as we know, sperm are very mobile and a girl can easily get pregnant even if she is not actually entered. So NOT having been entered is no guarantee that she is not pregnant. What most people concern themselves with is the honesty of the FEELINGS between two individuals. You might have had sex in the past - but it could have been just casual, for fun. If the way you FEEL with each other is incredibly special - if that FEELING is one that you have never felt before, then that is what should be celebrated. It is that emotional contact, that feeling of oneness, that is the true sign of a special breakthrough that only you two share.
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