Saying Sorry @ RomanceClass -|
Makes that Happened Twice
I love you. I know I say it a lot and sometimes it seems like it loses its meaning. I wish there was a next level I love you. Something like I want to be surgically attached to you and share every thought in our collective brain for the rest of eternity with you. That may be too far, or is it?
I know I do things sometimes that seem to negate the love I have for you. I understand that I contradict heart filled words with heart breaking actions. I have undermined the foundation of our relationship: Trust. These too are words, but I will show you in time.
I understand that it will be a long time before you will be able to trust me as you once had, and see me as the person you once had. There are so many more words that I want to say but I just canít find. Sometimes, there are simply no words that can adequately express the depth of a person's feelings that are plagued by regret, guilt and sadness for a wrong done. This is my predicament now for hurting you so badly when you trusted me so.
A thousand times "I'm sorry" Iím willing to say but I know it can't undo what has been done and it won't ease the pain in your heart. Instead, I write this to let you know that I regret my actions and what I have done is an unforgivable mistake. I am entitled to all the anger and resentment from you for what I have put you through.
However, it also pains me to see you suffering as a result of my actions. Guilt burns in my heart thinking of all the hurt that you must have felt because of my recklessness. I truly want you to be happy again with me still being a part of your life. I want to be the me that you deserve and I can be. One which has nothing to hide or fear is found. I want you to have nothing to fear of me.
What I have done was many things, none of them good. What makes this exceptionally wrong is that it happened twice. The second time does not make it twice as bad, but exponentially worse. As a poet once said, ďItís one thing to make the same mistake twice; itís another thing to make it all of your lifeĒ. Mistake seems like a cop-out for what I have done. Well, a mistake is a mistake but mistakes are what lessons are learned from. I know I don't have the right to ask anything from you when I have foolishly betrayed your trust in me. But if you can find it in your heart to forgive me and give me another opportunity to prove to you how much I love you, I will be very, very relieved indeed. For that would mean, I still have the chance to love and cherish you. And a chance to make your future a happier one with more laughter and less tears.
Lastly, I just want to say that I have faith in my love for you. I have faith that we will overcome the odds and make our relationship even better than before. Give me another chance and I have faith that, one day, we will look back at this and be glad that we didn't walk away from each other.
Loving you always,
3.13 out of 5 hearts
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