Saying Sorry @ RomanceClass -
I wish you would see this

ive missed you so much over this past year and a half. i know you wont see this, but i wish you would. maybe this is a desperate attempt to stifle my feelings, or a shot in the dark to try to work things out with you. i want to just tell you how much you mean to me, but i dont want to put you in a position where you feel that you have to make a decision right away. im so so so sorry for everything-for listening to my mom, for forcing you to go shopping with me, for not being as outgoing as i had always been around your friends-i was just nervous they wouldnt like me, even though i believe they did, even though i was so quiet. i just didnt want to embarrass you, but i guess i did. im afraid i couldnt show you how much you actually meant to me, until it was too late. i couldnt believe it when you broke up with me- i still feel brokenhearted every day. youre told that the pain fades, but it doesnt. not when you are truly in love. the only thing i can hope for is that i dont have to someday tell my children about the one person i wish things would have worked out differently with. if i could, id tell you everything to your face. things were going so well this semester, but it kills me when you pull away. i know you know that we should be together- i understand why you pull away- but i hope every single night that you give me one second to show you how much i love you. if you ever see this, if you ever give me one more chance, i will make you the happiest person youve ever known, i promise schatzi. schatz, i will always love you, no matter what, and i really hope that someday, we are given the chance we deserve <3


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