Saying Sorry @ RomanceClass -

I'm sorry I wasted so much uncontrollable thoughts and time on you. Hoping that one day we would meet again.

I thought you were the man of my dreams. I pushed you away because of the distance and trying to concentrate and finding a job again, instead of getting in involved with some guy in a long distance relationship. I fell for you in a heartbeat. Oh my god, did I fall for you. Some kind of odd feeling that I have never, ever experienced in my life. That scared me too. Definitely, never expected it for you from our conversations before we meet.
But then we met. I think I fell for you when you were showing me your trick while we met for coffee. Or maybe when I made the move on you and kissed you.

I pushed you away. I acted like I normally would never act. Horribly. Why I did it? You blew me away and I knew I had to concentrate on other things at that time and you scared me to death. Nothing you did, just these overwhelming feelings I was getting about falling for you. Never happened in the past and certainly not in such a short amount of time.

Things do happen for a reason and you proved that to me. Finally realized it. On accident a few months ago, I had a fake profile. The fake profile was because I had meet someone in person, after you. He was a freak! So, I made a fake profile only to do searches and so this guy wouldn't try to chat with me online. Every time I ignored his chat, he would come up with a fake profile and start chatting with me. So I made a fake profile only to do searches and then I would contact or whatever with whoever with my real profile. Somehow, you started chatting with me with your new profile. Shocked me. I never told you it was me. I was very polite to you. But so funny, how 3 years later, you kind of told the same story, but kind of not. Dang, you'd think after three years your ankle would have healed. Have you ever ran in your life? 8 miles a day, yeah right...

Things happen for a reason. You really weren't worth me; at all. You're a fake and a player. I'm sure I was one of your little toys on the side. Stupid me. I'm sure with your jet, you had so many friends. I cannot believe I wasted so much energy on you. Stupid me. Well you live and learn. Good thing I pushed you away. I thought I was scared of you interfering with my goals that I had to concentrate on. Turns out, things happen for a reason.

Good luck.

Somehow, I still have butterflies and a ache when I think of you, but then I just remember you aren't worth me and you're no different.

Maybe one day, you'll find what you are searching for. Were you ever really married for 17 years or was that a lie too? I usually can read people instantly. Get a sense of how the person really is. You got me good. No wonder you are so successful. Good for you.

I'm not saying sorry to you. The point of this writing is saying sorry to myself for wasting a part of me on a player. A player like you. You can be as rich as you are, as intelligent and successful as you are, but you can still be a loser. Which you are.


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