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Saying Sorry @ RomanceClass -
I'm sorry to myself.

When I was 14 and a freshman in high school, I met this guy at Anime Club who was 18 and graduated. He had a girlfriend and we were friends, but then, when his girlfriend broke up with him, he asked me out and I said no because he said he still loved her. He did everything he could to get me to go out with him like telling me I was cute, age didn't matter, and he would take me out on a date. All of that seemed tempting but I didn't budge and he told me he would date me when I turned 18. 3 weeks later, he and his girlfriend got back together and I was so heartbroken. He kept going on and on about her and I was getting so sick of it but I dealt with it because I was trying to be a good friend. One day, he found out that I liked him and he started treating me like crap. He forced me to admit that I liked him when I didn't want to. I wasn't ready but I wanted to save our friendship. I knew he was still with her, even though he said they might break up and if they did, he would give me my first kiss. I was so happy that I wanted them to break up because I really wanted to be with him but he didn't want to be my boyfriend because he said he was too old for me. In the end, they never broke up and he threatened to give my number to his girlfriend if I ever tried to call him again. I was so angry that I started prank calling him and he got upset at me. Then, he started saying things like I'm a stupid bitch, I'm the most hideous thing he'd ever seen and he only called me cute because he was trying to help my low self esteem, it didn't matter if I was 20 he'd never date me, I'm a spoiled brat, I'm a loser, the only reason I started talking to him was because of a friend, he never liked me, etc. It hurt me so bad that I cried for days nonstop. He says he's mad at me for the prank calls but I know that's not why he's upset at me. He was mad at me before the pranks and now, he's saying all of this trash about me, that's not even true! And the worst part about it is, I fell for all his sweetnothings and cheap tricks. I didn't do anything wrong and it's his fault our friendship fell apart. I tried to save it but he just threw it away. You know, if I'm gonna say sorry to anyone, I'm going to say I'm sorry to myself for not realizing what a cold hearted freak he really is and I'm sorry to myself for not standing my own ground and giving in to his lies, I'm sorry to myself for believing everything that he ever said to me. I'm sorry to myself for having a glimmer of hope to be good friends. I'm sorry to myself.


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