Saying Sorry @ RomanceClass -|
I am a wonderful woman and will end up settling for less than my worth
I can say what I want to say, I can tell you what is the truth, I can tell you B.S., just for whatever stupid reason
it is at the time being. All I can say, is how much I'm sorry, and how much I feel for you. I'm not bragging, I'm not saying anything other than this.... For some reason, I feel
cursed in a sense nothing is what it is I want. But, yet the
others want me and the one I want is gone to mostly no stupid
fault of my own. I can love you one day and hate you the next
because you are the one who imposed the threat of giving my
love and risking of being hurt. You gave me chances, but
how many people REALLY find the love of their life. At first, you nothing special, but once I met you, you blew
me away so unexpectedly. Since you R......, I have met three others that most women would adore, but the only one
I want to adore is you. Nothing wrong with these men... What you did is you affected me, somehow, I really don't know why you were so "different." I have no idea what brought out things that.... In any case, I screwed up things trememdously. You'll probably never read this. At this point... I don't blame you. But, if you read this one day..
Realize, I am not one to fall for someone so easily, I am not a believer of Trueness or anything close to the sort. I acted like a psycho with you because never in my lifetime could I imagine that a perfect man of my dreams would appear especially when he was so uninvited. You insulted me, I insulted you, but truth is, I fell for you and fell you like I never had before... I won't ever regret, because never in my life did I think I would get the opportrunity of a woman's dream. I did, and for that I am grateful for. I liked you so much that I didn't act myself. Attempting to think of things to say that "would be right," and turned out
so stupidly and immaturely wrong.
So, I am CURSED. I date (and for some ODD reason), the men I date are all successful but desparate.???? Such a short time, I am being asked for committment, marriage, not the "normal,little things," you'd expect in the amount of time. But, you, were so concerned about the "image," and not
what was felt. A few times you described exactly what I was
feeling, which blew me away as it couldn't be real. So, in
feeling of "nonsensical threat," I reacted like I have never before. So, tonight, when the third man in four months has
asked me for marriage makes me wonder how odd this life is. For some very weird reason men like me and want me; I take
no pride because it's not normal. But, what keeps me wondering is the man that that swept me off my feet wouldn't accept me????
I am the most negative person in this world. I laugh at the phrase, "love at first sight." When I spent time with you,
my perception changed and became "Unreal." Scared me to death of how I could actually feel for someone. You'll never read this and that's okay. Because, whether or not
I settle for something less, I can honestly say that for
a short time, I lived a fantasy and it was real. For that, I am happy. For that, all these other great couldn't be wrong. You are a catch.. a dream of many women. I experienced it and I can say you did not. I can settle for what is close, but as I see, you are still searching.. You are Mr. Wonderful, but not wonderful enough to give the woman of YOUR DREAMS the fourth and VERY needed chance.
Maybe we will meet again. If we don't and you are reading this (as this site is the "indirect source," I hope you
know (whether it matters or not,) there is love at first sight. The first time we kissed is the first time in my life did I ever feel that this was the one who I would
do anything on this earth for. I am a wonderful woman and
I will end up settling for less than my worth, but to this day, no matter how much you hate me, think horribly of me, at one point or another I will look back and know that I
got to experience the trueness of the unreal. Which was you. I love you and you'll never know it, but from your
actions, I think you want it and I think the energy that once "freaked me out ;)), you know it too.
5.00 out of 5 hearts
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