Saying Sorry @ RomanceClass -|
One day I will feel that way again.
You wouldn't give me the time of day to explain.
I miss you and I have never connected with someone like that in my life. But from the first minute you analyzed everything which made me screw up everything. Normally I wouldn't care what men think, but with you, it was different.
I do deeply care for you and not sure how it could be possible in such a short time. But I do. I know it's real, because no matter who I am involved with, I'm really wishing it was you. What is sad, is you never took enough time to know me except a couple of hours here and there. I was very appreciative of you coming to visit and realize you're busy, but you could have taken the effort to stay longer instead of trying to keep "the image of not chasing too soon and too play the game." However, I do understand all the rules and abide by them myself, but at the same time I never knew I would be lucky enough to come across someone that would make me forget all about the stupid dating games.
Although you will always remain a special part of me, you should have taken the one last effort to hear me out. So now I sadly realize you won't give me that last chance, but at the same time it's sad you haven't realized I am the best thing you will meet. I think you know it, but your image and ego won't give in. You can have everything in the world, but when you let the real thing go and end up lonely with all your toys,I hope you think of me and know I really cared for you, and not one time did I "play you." I just tried to be perfect but screwed that up. You were my dream man which caught me off guard and scared me like a fool. You really don't know who I am or what I am about, instead you have a very bad impression which is so false, but you couldn't let go of the arrogance to find out. Your ego and toys can't promise you love, but I would have. You were the only one in this life (or dream) that I could have seen myself falling in love with and that freaked me out because I never thought I would be lucky enough to find someone like that, never had any faith that it could exist. Then there you were, Mr. Perfect at the time I wasn't looking for it, nor expected it.
I will never forget you, your personality, your laugh, your imitations, the fake chinese food, the airport, the way you walked with such confidence, your slick and intelligent smile, your annoying arrogance (which I really loved, but couldn't tell ya ;)).
So, instead of missing you anymore and hoping you'll come around, I'll just remember all of the good things that I adored. I will never let the memories of you go. At this moment I am crying, because I really care for you. If I could get you to just listen to me, you'd understand the position you put me in.
Since you and I; I have met three very nice guys who adore me (all successful lawyers), who wanted to make lifestyle changes for me in a very short time. I never acted the psycho way I did with you, with them. Because I didn't have to act fake and try to impress them like I felt I had to with you. So alot was my fault I realize, but from the minute you told me you listen to everything and analyze, when you said you wanted to "meet someone, and not interested in dating," that all kind of freaked me out. But when I realized I liked you, I tried to be perfect and EVERYTHING came out so wrong. So, my fault for not being me and acting like a wacko. But, you're fault for not giving it the last trial. I begged you so many times to listen to me. But now after realizing you won't hear it, I decided to just give up and hope this feeling in my stomach eventually evaporates. I do like one of the men I have met, I don't act psycho, I'm not fake and we are thinking of moving in together. I certainly don't feel the chemistry you and I had,nor do I feel for him the way I do for you, but at least he is second best and he knows who I am and what I offer in a relationship. He knows me, my child and even loves my dogs...
Take care love, I just wish you would realize what you are letting go. I would have been the ultimate, true thing that
you are wishing to find. You just will never know about me, who I really am, what a good person I am, or what you could have had. You will always be in my heart and I have some grossly feeling that even if I am with someone else, I am wishing it was you. I never thought I could find what I felt
with you, but at least I know it is possible. One day I will feel that way again.
5.00 out of 5 hearts
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