Saying Sorry @ RomanceClass -
I am sorry to the boy I hurt, Im sorry a millions times

While being at school, this past spring, my new roommate moved in, she was a sister from my sorority. She and I talked and she told me all about her new boyfriend. He sounded like a decent guy. I met him about 3 days later. We got along from the start, I met his roommate too. One day we all met outside and started talking. We had one BIG thing in comman making fun of my then roommate. We got along so well, my friends and him and his roommate became insperable. We had a lot of fun without my roomy, she worked alot)Time went on, slowly fighting and talkin sh*t on each other, He and I got put in the middle of it all. We descided to have a intervention,to get it all out in the open. My two girl friends admitted to liking him. Deep down inside i did too. He wasnt happy with his girlfriend, and admited to me that he was just using her to get over his other girlfriend, and that he felt bad and needed to get out. So I told him to do it. He and I became VERY close after that, we began sharing personal stories, we became closer and closer everyday. We had so much fun together and nothing could go wrong. Till the lies started, he started to see my one friend and didnt tell anyone, im not goin to lie I was COMPLETLY JEALOUS! We called him out, he lied once again (but he liked to say it was his personal business and he was sorry) At the time I was dangerously depressed, and it didnt take much for me to cut my self, I usually did it on the inside of my foot so I could hide it behind my socks. He had no idea of this, we started screaming at each other and I stormed off, and up to my room. My roommate asked what was wrong, I told her nothing as I rummaged threw my drawers. I grabbed my xacto knife, in rage, fear, hate, tears, in a trans I was affraid of. And ran to the bathroom and started to cut. After I snapped out of it I went back down stairs with tissues coming out of my sock, and apologized for yelling. We never EVER have gotten loud with each other. And I told him that I was sorry for what ive done, and pulled my sock off. He looked at me with tears whelling in his eyes. He looked at my foot and looked away and I told him to look at me. His voice chocked and said he couldnt. He stood up and walked away. I put my sock and shoe back on, and watched him walk away. My other 2 friends looked at me and was like we need to go get him. And I said that I know where he was going and there was no stopping him. He went to his car for a drive, bc I knew him that well that when hes upset he likes to drive, I would of done it too.

I am sorry to the boy I hurt, Im sorry a millions times. I literally cried for days after. My roommate didnt no why, so I hide that from her, that I secretly fell in love with her x-boyfriend! Everyone knew it except for her and him. Even his roommate called me out on one drunk occasion, as I sat thinking a messed up thought, its true. I couldnt hide it any more.

We stopped talking for about 9 days, and on my birthday I IMed him and asked if he'd like to walk to class, which we both skipped to aviod each other, we didnt know if we could handle it. So we walked to class with an akward conversation. Boy I am so sorry for ever hurting you, and ever being hurt. Lots of time past we slowly regained our friendship back but NOT to full. Im not sure if we will ever be what we used to be which was best friends. I left the school while he was away, and left him a letter in his mail box, explaining it all, that I fell for him. He called me a few days later, when I figured he got the letter. I missed the call, and left him IMs but never got anything back. I soon received one back and we talked briefly, because he wanted to see how I was, and we left each other lil messages. I just hope hes okay, and Im dying to hear from him again, but who nos!



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