Saying Sorry @ RomanceClass -
I want to be play my guitar to wake you up in the morning

Our one year anniversary is upon us and all I think about is how I wish we were together to celebrate it. I know before that I drank too much on nights and caused you pain. It's only become apparent that the reason you were upset was of my jealousy and controlling behavior.

I never meant to harm you or become jealous. I know in my heart you'd never cheat or anything decietful. I only acted that way because I never been in love before, and I was scared to lose it. Recently, I've gone so far as to check your house and other places to see where you were at. Again, never to cause harm, but to just see if I was right if you were cheating. I saw your car at a male friend of your's apartment complex in the wee hours of the night. Now I realize you are gone forever, although you won't tell me.

Either way, it's in the past. You may be happy now with this new guy, and we only dated for 8-9 months before we started having break up talks back in January, but I know the mistakes I made. I won't be jealous anymore, I won't drink as much anymore. I've learned all it does is damage my dignity. I'm taking the steps to make myself better.

But our relationship is far more important than my dignity. I want you back to see that I'm still that guy you say is the love of your life, and the guy you said you never cared so much for before. You said it no more than a month ago.

You probably are happier with that guy now. But I know in my heart that I am the best man for you, regardless of how you feel with this present one. I am so sorry that I hurt you. I always had the best intentions for us. I promise (make this my final promise) that you never will have to put up with jealousy, controlling, drinking, and whatever came between us while we were together. I finally know my real mistakes now. I pray to God you forgive me.

I want to be play my guitar to wake you up in the morning while you grudgingly sip the coffee I made for you that's getting colder with each passing minute. I want to take you to our favorite restaurant again, so you can order that meatloaf you think is the best, then try to steal the complimentary biscuit. I want those Reese Cup pancakes you make when you go camping. I want to take you back to my hometown, and brag to my old friends of what I finally have that they already do. I want so much for our future, but I don't want to scare you into thinking too far ahead, so I'll just leave it be.

Most of all, I just want to be in the present with you. I don't want to harp on the past and think too much about the future. We're still young enough to let things happen. In time, I know we could have a bright future, but only if you accept this apology, for the last time. There won't be another time you have to accept an apology like this. I am forever sorry for those times, and I'm doing my best to take care of them for myself. I just want you around so you can reap the benefits of a better me. I miss you and I know we can be happy again. I am eternally sorry. Please reconsider.


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