Saying Sorry @ RomanceClass -
sometimes all people want is to hear you say you're sorry

i had a very close friend. she was my best friend. i was with alot of girls. i had never really had my heart broken so i guess thats why i didnt understand.

she was always there for me and she treated me with love and respect. i could easily tell that she was in love. so i did what i could to make her happy. i bought her things and was nice to her and gave her the same respect she gave me.

one day she told me she loved me. i told her i only wanted to be friends.i didnt make much of deal about it.she said that was ok. and i actually believed her.

several weeks later we were walking together and talking. here is what we said:
she starts,"did you tell luke that susan likes him?"
"yeah i did."
"what did he say?"
"just meh?susan loves him! isnt that a big deal to him?"
"probably not. why would he make a big deal about it? susan is nothing special."

about a month after that conversation she snapped at me and ran home. i talked to her and found out what was wrong. here is what she said:

"joe, i hate you with all my heart"

this really shcked me. she loved me! how can she say that?

"i really thought you loved me too.... you were just always so nice to me...... it just seemed to make so much sense... why would you lead me on like that? did you think about how i would feel when i found out the truth? you broke my heart joe..... i really loved you. how can you not understand that i hate you after you put me through so much pain? you made me feel worthless. you pretty much said i was worthless too..."

she was crying. i thought she was being a baby. cant she just get over it? i asked "when did i ever say you were worthless?"

"well, when susan loved luke he just shrugged her off the same way you shrugged me off. you told me it was no big deal to him because susan was nothing special... just like me. have you ever had to hear the person you love most, the only person who opinion matters to you, say that you are nothing special? that youre nothing anyone would be excited about having? you made me want to give up. you made me feel like a burden and that i would be better off dead. thats why i hate you."

i didnt care. we stopped talking. after three days i missed her. i continued to miss her for 2 years. finally i went to her and apologized. i told her that when i lost her i lost my entire world. she was everything to me and i just let her walk away in peices. little did i know it would leave me in peices.

to my surprise she turned me down. she had found someone new, and i had lost the love of my life. sometimes all people want is to hear you say youre sorry. dont wait until its too late. you never know what you have until you lose it.


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