Snow White - June 7 2012
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What is Romance?
Have any of you seen Snow White and the Huntsman yet? I have fairly mixed feelings on this one. Here's the message it sends. This is all early on in the movie, so I'm not giving away any spoilers.
Snow White grows up with an adoring William by her side. He clearly loves and cares for her. Then of course evil stepmother, certain death, she runs off into the forest. The huntsman sent after her reluctantly decides to protect her. So he's with her for maybe a day.
William, who by now is a Robin Hood style adult, realizes she's alive. He instantly goes to rescue her. His entire life has been missing her and helping others. He has a laser focus about being back at her side. He gets there very quickly - but she now has become attached to the Huntsman! In one day! And she literally turns her back on him.
What is this saying about our modern state of romance? That it doesn't matter if you are honorable, true, and loyal? That if you see something shiny it's fine to just go for it?
What do you think - does our modern world put too much emphasis on bling and quick results, and denigrate the value of commitment?
I suppose at least it's better than the animated Snow White. I'm about to watch that again, for comparison, but my recollection is that she never even met the Prince before they fall in love. He just shows up at her glass coffin, kisses her, and therefore she marries him. Was that right? :)
As you can guess, I take a bit more long-term view on what a relationship is supposed to be about. I have been with my guy for 16 years now. It's not always easy! Life is not meant to be easy. There are ups and downs, challenges and solutions. The key to lasting is to take a deep breath, look at the issue, and find a way through it. Studies show that yelling and screaming predict a relationship's end. The more you can talk through problems and find common solutions, the more likely you are to last.
It can be hard to be calm, sometimes, when you care a lot about an issue. But that is when it's most important to be clear about what you want. Screaming is rarely clear. If you need to, take a break for a half hour. Regroup when things are more calm. Write down your issues if that helps. Get a third party to join you if that helps. Whatever it takes, address the issue calmly, and get through it. After all, it should be you two side by side against the world. It shouldn't be you and them against each other.
I now have seven of my medieval novels published. The eighth one comes out on June 30th. All proceeds benefit battered women's shelters, and they're only 99 cents each, so let your family and friends know! It's for a good cause. They all promote couples who respect each other and strive together to make the world a better place.
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