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Love is, above all, the gift of oneself. --Jean Anouilh



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My story is really confusing

~Background!~
My story is really confusing, just by the way, and VERY long!![: Anyways, in here, we're all band nerds. I am 15(a freshman) in the colorguard, along with (subbing names) Nikki, Brynne, Millie, and Kate. There is also another girl Jenny, who graduated last year. Brynne, Millie, and Kate are all seniors and Nikki is a junior. Then there is Cade, Daven, and John. Cade is a senior, Daven is a junior, and John is a freshman. Daven and John are not in marching band and Cade plays the clarinet. OKAY!! Ready set go!!

~Last year~
Cade dated Kate, and ended it harshly. Kate hates Cade. Brynne was best friends with Kate so Brynne hates Cade. Cade started dating Millie, and then cheated on her with Jenny. He broke things off with Millie finally and went with Jenny. So far, Millie, Kate, and Brynne hate Cade. (Keep this straight!) Jenny starts messing around with other people and leaves Cade grieving. Nikki comes and saves the day!! Cade and Nikki are lovers and are more intertwined than anything. They are M.A.D lovers. anyways, being the player Cade was back then, he started messing around with Jenny again. Finally, Nikki found out and left Cade. Something was different about Nikki though. She made Cade realize something. He finally dropped everything and focused on getting Nikki and only Nikki back. Nikki is sick of Cade and starts loving Daven. ~ So far, Nikki, Brynne, Kate, Millie, and Jenny all hate Cade. ~

~This Year~
Yay I'm in the story! Everyone in Guard is family in a way. End of story. We would kill to keep our friends happy. I become best friends with Brynne and get introduced to Millie. Millie was still wounded over Cade, but she had a new boyfriend. Millie explained everything to me, and in a way, I hated Cade. He had hurt my friend. (This was at the first of the season) I get introduced to Nikki and Kate and hear their stories about Cade. So far, I am surrounded by nothing but hate for the kid. I really didn't like him. Finally, I get to be friends with the band. We had a rehearsal that started at 5, so I stayed after school and hung out there until it started. However, the band had practice right after school, but the director wasn't there. Every section was kinda doin their own thing. Clarinets had NOTHING to do so they all just went home. Cade was getting all of his stuff, and me being the bouncy hyper freshman, I asked him to go to the store just down the street and by me a donut. (random, I know) My rehearsal was about to start and then he actually showed up with my donut. I hugged him, got his name, and thanked him. I didn't put two and two together that this was the Cade that everybody hated. So now we knew each other, and life goes on.

~Couple months later~
Me and Cade were better friends, we actually talked to eachother now. I had finally figured out that he was hated. My guard friends had told me to stay away from him cause I would only get hurt in the end. I got fed up with them telling me who to hang out with and became his friend. Nikki and Cade are friends now. Cade accepted (on the outside) that Nikki had Daven. (on the inside, his world was crashing down around him) Daven was being an ass one day, and broke up with Nikki. The band had a football game to go to and Cade was sitting with Nikki. Nikki cried to Cade, and realized that she really did have feelings for Cade. All was good. Cade had Nikki, and ther was no more confusion. But Daven, being the XXX he was, fought his hardest and won Nikki back.

~Next football game~
Nikki couldn't come to this game, so I sat with Cade. We had become even better friends now, and we were at the stage where I hug him everytime I see him and he calls me by my band nickname. But at this game, he poured out his life story to me. So instead of hearing all the hate, I heard about all the love that this kid went through. So now, I had heard every version of this 'drama'. But at the game, we got all crazy and hyper and stuff and became BEST friends. on the ride home, I was waaay tired and we were sitting at the back of the bus. I had pured out my life story to him, so we were now on a brother and sister stage. He would beat up anyone for me if I asked him to, kinda thing. (this is what he told me after. I don't remember cause I was asleep and all) I fell asleep sitting up, with my knees on the seat in front of us. My head rolled to the side, my arms slipped from my lap and my body went relaxed. We hit a bump and I started falling into the isle. My knees slipped and he cuaght me by my arm before I could fall. He sat me back up and thought I was awake, but I wasn't. He offered to move so I could have the seat to myself but then I just put my head in his lap and fell "back" asleep. Towards the end of the ride, I had this really bad and vivid dream. I would randomly start breathing really fast and then just stop breathing all together. He said the longest I went without breathing was about a minute. I would cough but, wouldn't exhale. I did this about seven times. I finally jolted awake (actually awake now) and realized that we were dang close. I sat up halfway and his arm was still around me. I clung to his shirt in remembrance from my dream and would look up at his face just to make sure that this was really reality and that the monsters weren't going to come back. I finally got home, after he worried about me and asked if I was okay.

~BOA!! St. George Regionals baby!!~
in the hotel, me and Nikki were walking around. She was still good friends with Cade, and they were both touchy people. They stood close together and 'cuddled'. Apparently Millie (remember her??) got fed up and said something to Brynne and Kate. They were bothj pissed off about Nikki and Cade and got them both in trouble. Nikki was in her room crying, and Cade was walking to his room, all pissed off. I came out and then we started walking around and talking. I let him let off some steam and frustration just by talking to me. After St. George and a thing called Christmas Fantasy, Nikki hated Cade, and Cade had finally let go of Nikki. So now, all he had as a friend was me. This tiny little 5 foot freshman was best friends with the 6'4 big kid senior. We texted all the time and told eachother everything. I mean everything.

~Now~
He told me he had feelings for me. I wouldnt admit it to myself that I liked him back cause John was my boyfriend at the time. I told Cade that we would always need eachother in our lives, as a friend, as a sibling, or as a lover if life took us that way. So Cade was always there, standing in the shadows waiting for me. John was getting sick of his life and talked multiple times of suicide. He cut himself and pushed me around a little bit. I finally got pissed off enough and told the counselor about him. (Of course I had told Cade about John, what a silly question to ask yourself! :P)John was really starting to scare me, cause I made him promise me that if he ever cut, he had to cut me too. I have several cuts on my arms now, from him. I was getting scared, cause he cut deeper and deeper everytime, moving to my chest area. He mumbled under his breath the other day saying, if I kill myself, she dies too, doesn't she? I ended things with him, then and there. I was free to do whatever I wanted, without worrying about keeping him alive. I told Cade I was free and finally admitted to myself and him that I loved him. We couldn't let others see me and him as an 'us'. It would destroy both of our reputations. So we texted only and we actually met up the other night, for the first time as a couple. We had talked about this night being our first kiss. He had walked through school that day, adn found 'our' spot. We walked there, and sat on the heater. He put his arm around me and I just held his hand. There had never really been anything like us before. The hated senior in love with the freshman that was friends with everyone. An honest relationship, too. We sat there on silence, waiting for the stupid janitor dude to leave. When He finally did, I just looked up at him. He asked me if I was alright, and I responded I was fine, which I was, our faces slowly getting closer. We both said I love you and had our first kiss. We kissed many more times that night. We went and hung out with his friends outside and played in the snow. I love him, I really do. I don,t know where I would be without him.






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