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You will always have a special place in my heart forever
i remember the time when i first saw you. that was like wow... you were so hot and there i was, just falling for your looks...
i didnt think that you would even bother to look at me at all... i thought that you might be mean or not interested because you had so many girls after you.
it was really weird, but i had to meet you. i had that strange feeling in the bottom of my heart, like you might actually be the one for me. but then again, i usually fall for a lot of ppls:D
well when i first talked to you on the net, i was really surprised. i thought that you would snob me off or something but you were really nice! well, then i decided that i would do anything to make me stand out from all those girls lining up to go out with you.
i smsed you and pretended i was 'supposed' to send it to some1 else. it was funny and yes, it did catch your attention. you called me and i was so happy... i had just gotten over betrayal from some1 who broke my heart and i was starting to forget that when i was with you.
after 20 days of knowing each other, i was so deep in love... or was it lust? you called me most nights and i was always very happy to hear your voice.
then one night (12th sept)... you asked me
"do you think of me as your bf?"
i was so shocked, i couldnt think! so i said
"do you think of me as your gf?"
and you said yes... that was a new start to our relationship.
you were always such a funny guy, made me laugh so much and i thought i was the luckiest girl in the world. we joked around so much, maybe even 2 much >=D but i treasured every moment we had together...
you called me 'bubz' and all that typical stuff... but it was so cute. when i was upset, you done your best to make me happy. when i told you i didnt like you carrying knives around, you stopped and sometimes you got in trouble without them but you never complained>=P
i guess we were so in love... i still ignored the fact that girls liked you.
they used to call me up and ask for your number and id be like:
"umm... ill ask him"
you told me to treat it as if it was my number. that was so nice of you. i liked that side of you. sometimes you could be a hardcore gangsta but then when we were alone, then you would just take that side off you and you'd just be an ordinary guy, just chilling and having fun, not worrying about your image.
you sang to me on the phone before
usher's- u got it bad
i loved that song. it was so................ lol... no words to describe it:P
you told me that you loved me everyday and i felt so special and i turned out to be a more loving/patient person. i felt like i was walking on water everyday...
then the cracks started to show in our relationship.
i used to be a player and i guess i didnt really shake that side of me. you were never a jealous guy but i guess i just pushed you over the edge when i was mucking around with your god bro. nothing happened but that was the 1st time i had ever gotten you pissed...
i was really upset and i thought you might not wanna talk to me no more. i understood how you needed time alone for a bit.
we were really honest with each other then, we told each other everything. i think that made us closer.
the only problem was the rumours that i heard everyday. such as you were cheating on me, you thought i was ugly, you were showing interest in other chicks and so on...:(
you were really upset when you heard those rumours. i tried to ignore them but even my closest friends were telling me to move on.
so one day you asked me:
"do you trust me?"
i hesitated for a moment 2 long....
that wrecked everything. the love went out of our relationship then. i guess there was no way to mend it. you felt like i didnt even trust you know more and i wasnt sure if i did. i was so caught between both sides. i cried everynight for one week.
i was waiting for the big break up moment... but i didnt ever wanna hurt you so i decided that i wouldnt break up with you if you didnt break up with me.
i wanted to hold on to the happier times we had but things werent getting better.
that was the day... i remembered how you called me up
this was our convo
"do you think this is working out...?"
and that was it.... i felt nothing. the next day, all the pain came rushing in. i didnt know what to do, what to say. but i didnt hate you, cause it had to be done sometime... i was so sad to let you go..
i turned fully to God right then. i decided that God was the only thing that would never hurt me. i started to care more about the world and everything else.
you got a gf 11 days later, the hurting process was much deeper. i kept thinking that i had meant nothing to you and it was so painful to think that way. you got over me so easily so i didnt know that if you actually loved me or not. i blocked you on msn to get you out of my mind and that didnt work obviously.
i became more mature, finally i was able to talk to you without crying. it was still painful but i guess it was an improvement. i had depended so much on my friends through this time...
somewhere around this time, you told me you liked me again. it was very subtle but in the end you did tell me. i was so confused but now im kinda just taking things one step at a time. because i wasnt able to forget.... you were also in brisbane so it would be really hard to keep a relationship going. by that time, i had also developed feelings for someone else. but you still had my heart...
today... we have this kinda of carefree relationship, very easygoing. its nice but i guess we could be more close.... you taught me so much and i want to thank you for that. without you, i wouldnt have opened my eyes and appreciate what i had... you will always have a special place, in my heart forever...
3.73 out of 5 hearts
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