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Cherising the Memories
At the beginning, it started out with me having fallen for this guy during my senior year who I hardly knew and yet, thought I knew. He was popular, a hard working student and good looking, but had the reputation of being an ass. I was told constantly that he was a jerk and that I could do much better, but foolish little me always thought that I could see the best in him and that he wasn't a bad guy. When I had my moments alone with him he was sweet and patient. He was beautiful to me and I constantly desired him. I thought if he gave me a chance, I'd be able to love him like no other. But I was foolish and didn't know any better... Soon I heard from a close friend of his on what he's been saying behind my back. I kept denying the fact that he wasn't entirely a great guy. But soon enough I realized what I had for him was only an infatuation which had been simply conjured up by an illusion created from my mind. I saw him as what I wanted to see, not for what he really was...
After graduation the class went on our final trip together on some island with no parents or any chaperons. Complete freedom for a week... Each night was filled with partying and drunkenness. And it was on one of those nights where I met this guy, lets call him T. He was another kid from my class but he wasn't one of the people I usually socialized with during school. I hardly saw him around nor have I ever even spoken two words to him the entire time I was in school. He was an honor roll kid who studied hard, did debates and never partied. I was the opposite, I was an average student, tried to have fun and loved going out partying. So, the night we finally met began as a mere drunken hook up, where we simply kissed and made out. But we ended up meeting again, not to just hook up but to also talk. He declared on the third night that he would call me when we got back home. I was amused because I didn't believe him. No one would have done such a thing considering after the trip everyone was eventually going to leave anyways, off to university to a new life in somewhere abroad. But true to his words, he did end up contacting me after he got back. And unexpectedly, with every day we hung out and got to know each other the more I ended up caring about him. As I opened up to him, he began to trust me in return. And from that our friendship formed. He wasn't my ideal guy that I've been dreaming about nor did we share a great deal in common, opposite actually.
But what I found in him was real.
The emotions that he made me feel were real.
I didn't conjure up some illusion or sugar coated him with lies to myself that made him look divine in my eyes.
Nope, I liked him simply the way he was.
Even if he wasn't everything I've been dreaming of he was better than that because he was something real.
It was meant to be a summer fling, but gradually our feelings grew and we ended up caring a great deal for each other, despite knowing that inevitably the day will come where we would have to part. It's funny though, how we would talk to each other casually about our futures. We'd talk about the partners we'd find in the future, how we hoped they would be like, what our weddings and our wife/husband would be like. I told him that one day when he gets married that he'd have to invite me to his wedding and I'd do the same. It was sad, talking of a future without each other. But from our meeting and getting to know each other we learned so much from one another. I had liberated him from his constant boring life full of planning, order and taught him to just live a little. While he taught me how to love. Even as opposites we respected each others opinions and our likes as well, as our dislikes.
Reality is we're eighteen, we're young, we're still at that period where we haven't achieved our goals or even established who we really are in this world yet. The moments we shared were an amazing experience where we not only brought joy to each other but also new knowledge. I love him but I know by asking anything from him when he leaves would be foolish and would only bring grief to us both. Its not a fairytale where there is always going to be a happy ending...
So, with the remaining days I spend with him, I shall cherish the memories we've made as well as the ones soon to be made for the rest of my life even after we both find someone else in our lives.
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