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Recontacting a Childhood Crush

We were classmates and best buddies in 2nd grade together with two other friends but only the two of us remained classmates in 3rd grade. When our classmates started teasing us, I started to be cruel to him. I transferred to another school the next year, he also transferred to my new school the next year. He started teasing me that he likes me and I wouldn't let him get near me although when I don't see him, I'd miss him, until in 6th grade he wrote a note at the back of my notebook that he loves me but he hates me. I always quarrel with him then. One day, all of my classmates didn't talk to me. A girl who was a bully of the class agreed that they will not be mad at me if I promise I will never be cruel to him again and I did... and kept my promise

There were new students in high school and a lot of girls get a crush on him. Three of my new closest girl friends admitted they liked him. They never knew that we had been the "love team" before. One of them became his girlfriend with my help. I knew I was in love with him then but I would rather die than admit it that time. Until we graduated high school, nobody ever knew, but I was frustrated. In college we both had several relationships and between were chances that it could have been "US", only that either of us is in a relationship. I told him one day when I was already 21. He said, if only i told him before it would have been still us...and I said "or not" and we might not be friends. A few months after that my bestfriend became my boyfriend and a day after, I saw him and told him, before I left he tried to stop me, holding me in my wrist he told me to break up with my bestrfriend and be his. I looked at him and waited if he would tell me that he loves me, but since he didn't I just smiled and left.

When I was 22, I became pregnant, but my ex-bestfriend turned out to be very immature. He became cruel to me because of another girl and the girl wouldn't let him go even if she knew of my situation.

I am now 26 and recently I had contact with my first love thru a social networking site. There was his number, I kept it for a month before I decided to text him. We talked about the past, he was teasing me that if only I accepted him when he was courting me, everything would have been different, I asked him when did he, in 6th grade? That was a long time ago, small chance that we would last that long when we were cats and dogs of the class. I told him I'm glad we're still friends.

When we met lately, he was a perfect gentleman to me and I knew I still love him. I am afraid to tell him so...


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