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You just scare me

If you only knew the true feelings I feel for you...,

You blew me away. It has nothing to do with what you own. It's you. "Just YOU." The first time I saw you from a distance, some automatic feeling I never felt before, came upon me, like never before... Then, just meeting with you.

Seeing you a couple more times.

I am so sorry I was so cold. I am so sorry I didn't let you know how much you meant to me. You still do. I can't explain it???? It really freaks me out to be honest.

To others we spent a small amount of time together. Reality proves them to be correct. It was a very small amount of time. But, the odd thing is... Every single minute I had of you...It was (and still is), the best time of my life. I love you. I loved you the first minute I saw you. You scared me. You still do. But now, I know how stupid I was to let go of you.

I pushed you away. Unintentionally, yet, knowingly.

Doesn't make sense? I know. I don't make sense. I know that as well. I also know that I loved you the first time I saw you. I still love you.

The time I met you was a very hard time for me. The hardest time of my life. Still is. Still couple of years later.

But the difference is, acknowledging to stop throwing my life away due to fear. You were perfect.

Not one day doesn't go by that I don't think of you. I purposely try not to think of you, but during some different, random, times during the day, I just continue to picture you. You are perfect. You're everything any could hope for.

I know I do deserve the "Best. But when I met you, I never knew I would ever be lucky enough to find, "The Best." You are the Best. You deserve the "BEST." I just wish you could know everything I should let you know.

Right before i met you, I lost the most important people to me. I then met you, then lost you, only because of how I don't typically act.

I love you. Always will. Please know, I never meant to be so cold. I'm not that way. You just scared me. Still do. But all I know is I only think of "YOU."

Happy New Years Darlin. I hope you find everything you deserve. I love you.


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