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End it with a beautiful goodbye
I am an ordinary girl, well, as much as i want you, readers to think of me in a look of a decent turtled neck top growing girl, it's not possible.
I'm an ordinary Party Girl, I enjoy partying so much that I live by the moon and hide away from every sunrays.
As westernize my life may be, I do believe very much in fairy tale, some part of me grow, some part don't.
I enjoy reading love stories that ends happily or the magical stuff that doesn't exist. & Movies, they make reality look so bad, no guy could be that leading actor in the movie.
I was an independent teenager, I partied alot, all dolled up, with this lil orbit around me, allowing me to socialize around but that's just that, I have my fence up.
then there came this unattractive man, met through a friend. There he was, another dark image to my sight at the corner of my eyes. We began hanging out during the day on weekdays with all of our friends. Then one night, I got very wasted. & I woke up in a running engined car, holding hands in hand with him, did nothing but talked. I can't remember much, as I puked, gag got totally hammered. Later did i know he carried me to the car and all, but he didnt send me home but parked outside my house as he can't find the keys. of course i was angry how my friends left me with a stranger?!
To my eyes and ears, he was annoying and irritating, like a mosquito buzzing around. But that's inside, thats not how we should act, so i went on listening and answering, i was still under the influence of alcohol, so he then offered to buy me breakfast. We went to McDonalds. i could hardly move, so bought Big Breakfast, he fed me, he wipe and he threw the rubbish. his first complain, "I buy, I paid, I feed, I wipe, I take care, I drive and I throw" I should've seen it coming, well i didn't. i didnt see him as the fling type as i am not going steady at the moment.
we ended up seeing each other, he was marvelous, sweet, loving and charming. I was being pushed around by him, in a sweet way. he made me sat next to him under the umbrella under the pouring rain just looking out at the sea. he made dampy wet floors look clean. Then we had korean noodles on a rainy night at the 7-11 store. Just like in the movies.
He'd climb in my house and arranged lovely roses in "I LOVE YOU" form when I was out. He's always making me happy and buying me gifts to make me happy, he'll buy me dinner if i had nothing to eat at home, he lives 45 minutes away and he's still coming to see me here everyday. We celebrated two dates every month. The 15th and the 20th, our official date getting together and the day we unofficially got together. Every month of those days, i'll have surprises, cakes, flowers. he's truly a prince charming.
I have never doubt anyone, i'd love to give everyone their space as much as i want them to give me mine. But he was de opposite. he expected me to drop my world and live his! i actually lost my social life and my friends, even my best friends. I tried making up to them but he never fails to get in the way and it ended up worst.
in short, it was like he felt for me more than i can ever feel for him. But his ex gf are always calling, it didnt bother me cause me and my ex bf are pretty close. then i had alot of guy friends warning bout him being STILL attached. i asked him and he said my friends are probably disliking me being with him but i didnt care much to both side. Till i found out it was real, she came up to me.
She was another funny girl, she went too low for him, where's her dignity? Every girl should know their limit and know when they should walk away. But she doesn't so i was constantly betrayed by her. I anyhow sided girls, and whatever i feel or told her, she'll use it against me to get him back. I was much injured by both parties and i wanted to die. I can't get away in any way, my boyf who's attached kept coming to my house, bugging my family and all, crying, screaming begging, but he was sooo nice everytime i allow us to talk for a lil while and it makes me forget about all the bad things. he too had lie to me countless times.
For the entire year, he was lying to me and i found out a couple of months ago. we were breaking up so it didn't make things worst.I too have been unfaithful, i don't wanna be the fool who's stupidly trusting him, so i had my sneak outs and my secret lover of the night. lol
he found out and he was furiated, well thats exactly what i felt when i knew about his, he should've known how it feels.
getting on we were breaking up, till i found out i was pregnant! everything went haywired. it hasnt sunk in to him yet but he was enlightened with the news as i need him around with the baby so he's actually happy. And he tries to prolong the abortion date as it'll be the day of my freedom. i love him and he loves me but sadly we had to part. the baby's the only thing that kept us togethr.
the morning of the abortion, he received a message from his ex, asking him how was he as the abrupted call was pretty vague. it totally killed me, knowing i had to carry his mistake, i cant even hang out with the girls even after what he did to me, and now this? even when i'm pregnant, he wouldn't even let go of his lil ex gf for the few days of the pregnancy? i lost my life for it. that morning i cried alone in the bathroom, and that guilt and reluctance in me to flush the baby down went away.
i wanted to let it go straight, all that i've listened and carried all these while it's unworthy. so with a very cold heart i decided to go and get over with it, end it with the baby. i pushed him off and i decided to deal with it myself. he didnt turn back too.
i woke up few hours later alone in the ward.
feeling dizzy and sick, i had no one next to me.
everyone else had someone holding their hands but i had none,
so i crawled around, curled up feeling uneasy.
the moving around worns me up and i fall asleep again really fast.
in a bit, i felt the warmth of a palm by my cheek, and he softly whispers in my ear, "how're you baby?"
all the suffering bundles up in tears. i had no more strength left to fight, it's all used up to fight my own physical agony, so he was left in charge to make the emotional pain go away, yes the pain he caused in the first place.
He walked me to the car, and in there, was a pot of purple daisies, my favorite color, and on the vase, it says, I love you with a picture of his baby self with the date stated by the side.
that baby picture reminds me so much of what i had just lost.
and for the rest of the days in the week, he was the sweetest thing with fulfilled promises. and now that we're so good together, he had to leave in two weeks time.
maybe it's a game of fate. How is it that everything works so magically.
when i withold all those love back, he kept coming and he never went away, now that i'll guardless, he had to leave for greater good, with the remaining days left, i'll stay in love with him and end it with a beautiful goodbye.
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