Love Stories @ RomanceClass -|
It all started about 6 years ago when I was 10. My brothers introduced me to this mmorpg called runescape and I was just starting out on it but I didn't have any friends and needed some help on this quest. I was walking around on the game when this guy "jamal" needed help on the same quest. Well we finished the quest together and became friends. I was soooo addicted to runescape and so was he. Over the next few years we became the bestest of friends. We knew everything about each other and could even finish each others' sentences. We couldn't help but flirt occasionaly but I only of him as a friend. Then one day when I was 14, and we were talking, I was thinking to myself and realized "Oh my Gosh, I'm in love with him." Just a little info for you, he was 17 and lived in Nebraska and I lived in Oklahoma. I never thought it was possible for me, of all people, to fall in love with someone I met on the internet. I was never really interested in guys or dating. Anyways, before I turned 15 we both were terrible bored with runescape and we turned to myspace. For about 4 months we talked and talked. He had asked for my cell number many times but I rejected him because I HATE talking on the phone and I knew a little part of me was also afraid. Eventually I knew he had the same feelings for me(you could just tell), and later on he told me he loved me. For about 7 months we were still talking and deeply in love. I can't even began to explain how I felt about him. When we talked the sparks and love that was there was like WOW!!! Then about 3 months after, I started to feel some hatred or something towards him. I was thinking "Oh my gosh, why am I feeling this way about him now?". I was so confused. I was in love with him for about 3 years then all of a sudden my feelings had changed. I hated myself for it. Eventually I send him a message saying 'I'm sorry' and that was it. I never gave him any warning that I didn't love him or that I was fixing to sever all contact between us.
Now, 4 months later, I've been thinking about him a lot. Did I do the right thing? Why did I do what I did? What would happen if we actually met one day? What if he came here during the summer to see me? Often I find myself daydreaming what it would be like if he really was here with me. I know I hurt him really REALLY bad! Some part of me wants to contact him again but the other part tells me what I did was right. What if I do contact him and we hit it off again? What if I start to feel the same way as before and hurt him again? I tell myself "no". I hated myself for what I did to him and I still do.
Why did I kill our relationship? Was it because I was afraid? Was I afraid of my feelings toward him? Was I afraid because I knew one day we could eventually really be together? Why?
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