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LIFE got in the way
After the traumatic loss of my parent while I was still a child, relatives took my sibblings and I to live in another place far from where we grew up. There, I met a neighbor who turned out to be the love of my life...I was just 11 years old and he one year older.
The instant our eyes met (and I know it sounds very much like a cliche) we each knew that we had fallen in love although we never said those exact words. But I just knew.
It is corny to hear someone say that with one look you could make such a deep connection but until it happens to yourself there's no way to believe it's true!
Every minute of every day I would think of him, his slightest touch would send a rolling heat wave through my entire body. Sometimes I would catch him innocently starring out of his window from across the street and get startled at the sight of me. That was a kicker for me!
No-one knew of this secret love affair and occasionally our families went on outings together and we would always be by each others side. It was puppy love at its finest!
A couple of years had passed then unexpectedly I had to move far away again. Up to this point our relationship was purely platonic but the magnetism of our feelings was undeniable.
Before I left for the airport he took my hands and lead me to a secluded corner of grandma's garden, there, we faced each other and I could actually see the way his heart was pounding through his thin T-shirt all the while he was struggling to verbalize his thoughts. Just as he was drawing me closer for a kiss? someone called out my name...it was time to go.
I never wrote to him nor he me, I blame--LIFE--and for getting wraped up in it, darn you!
As a high school graduation present, my family went back to visit grandma's and there he still was, just as I remembered only improved!
Taller, more handsome and now a college freshman.
We embraced like old lovers, went on dates like time had stood still for us...until it was time to leave, again.
No promises were made, for me it was a clear understanding of something more to come? Like, just wait here for me or a brief intermission, I don't know if I'll ever know!
Back at home--LIFE--got in the way, once more! I did receive one letter from him, it was a napkin that I had used to wipe away some ice-cream we'd had together. On the napkin he'd written the date and time of our rendezvous as well as the flavors we'd shared.
I cried and could not bring myself to stop. At that moment I realized that I was too much into the life I currently had and there was no way to run back.
Although our feelings for one another never consummated into much more than hugs and kisses, I have not experienced another love like his. Still today, when I feel alone, all I do is bring back the warm memories of those innocent times which always lift me.
I could never tell him any of this as he is now married with kids of his own but to finally declare what I've held for so long is like taking the weight of the world right of of my shoulders.
Thanxs for reading.
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