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Wants someone smarter

Love is a weird thing. I went out with my first boyfriend in eight grade (i am in tenth now). He asked me to the prom so i said yes and we went out for around 3 months. He was a really nice guy since he would buy me whatever I wanted. I didnt really offer much but whatever I needed, he will get it for me. Three months later, I broke up with him. I hurted him really really badly. He still loves me but I realize that he and me are not really meant to be. I am smarter than him and he seems like he is really stupid like in special ED or something.

As of today, I still talk to him. In the matter of fact, we are now good friends. From what I see and hear from my friends, he still likes me. I don't really know what to do. He would always be there by my side. I dont want to confront him that I no longer like him because deep inside, he seems to fulfill me. He gives me warmth but his knowledge doesn't. Its like... I am a straight A student and he is like a C student. Besdies education blocking our love, I love him.

As of now, I fool around with him alot. We aren't going out anymore but I do tend to flirt alot with him. My friends tell me that i should stop but i cant help it. I know that I flirting with him will cause him pain, but what should I do. Deep inside, I do love him. I really do.

Perhaps time will tell. I've told him to do well in school and he did listen. But sometimes, 'well' is not enough. But he tried, right?

See, i am really confused. What should i even do. We dont go to the same high school so i think it would be better off seperate. Perhaps I will find a boyfriend somewhere in my school. Someone who's smarter than me. But at the same time, he always come to my mind. He is always there for me. Bottom line, I DO LOVE YOU. I cant confront it to you but I've told you that I love you multiple times when I flirt with you. I suppose it is how you take the words I LOVE YOU.

- 10th grader in NYC






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