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I hope they both find someone better.

I know this is kind of stupid...but here goes.
I've been playing a specific online game for the past while, and I've met alot of great people and made friends with alot of them. As part of the interaction, sparks are lit and you seem to find someone who can be your soulmate.
So after a while, I decided to bond with a guy I really liked. (There is a marriage system, and we got married.) At first it was awkward, we were both the shy kind. I kept saying I love you in a different language because I knew I don't have the courage to say it, and also I don't know how he'd react since he's all shy and embarassed to talk about his feelings. Eventually, he found out what I've been saying the whole time and he replied one time, saying he loved me alot too. We spent alot of time together, revealing that we both cared for each other alot and sometimes I didn't get off the computer till mid-night just to talk to him on schooldays. We were a happy couple.

After a month or two, he had two jobs and I had finals coming up. He tried really hard to log on before I decide to get going, and the earliest he would be home without any obstacles would be 11PM my time. For the first few weeks,I waited so I could tell him I missed him and loved him before I went to bed. I could tell he was happy to hear that and he too had a hard time getting off the computer.

Until the week of my final came. I haven't talked to him for a week. He didn't log on the stupid game, and at sometimes it did say he logged on, but logged off within 10 seconds. I was busy studying, and once a while I checked the screen to see if he logged on, but everytime I checked, he logged off. It suddenly struck me that he might not love me anymore.

I felt depressed. I wanted to tell him how much I want him to be there. The stress and depression was getting to me. I was really down, until a friend of ours started talking with me. Everyday, he would ask me how I was doing, how day went by..etc. It made me happy talking to him. One day, another friend of mine (A great friend, I told her everything) suggested that he might like me, and sensed that I had a little spark with him as well.
To cut the story short, I ended up *divorcing* my husband in the game and "kind-of" started going out with the other guy.
When I told my ex-husband about that I liked someone esle, he encouraged me to get a divorce with him. I don't know what I really wanted then, I was so confused and so unhappy that I, betrayed him.

After that day, he left the game for about a month. We stopped talking, and I thought I would never see him again. But one day he came back and I was really happy. Now, I rather talk with him then the guy I was going out with.

As days past, I recognized that I've confused love with a deep passionate friendship. Both of them are great friends, and they respected my decision. But something inside...made me feel terrible. Everyday I acted happy infront of them, and I just feel like a horrible person. If I really did love them both so much I shouldn't have done such a selfish action.

As a result, I stopped logging on. I told my friend to give them back some items I borrowed, and hopefully they can find someone better, someone new, and someone who will stay loyal. I feel alot better now that instead of hurting another's heart, its better to just sacrafice your own. Even though I'm not very happy this turned out the way it did, I hope they both find someone better.


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